Shudder

18.Nothing More

Song for Chapter: Sleep Paralysis -Teen Wolf Soundtrack

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HARRYS POV

I open the door revealing a small room. Everything in the room is placed the same way it was when I left. The computer still on, the shirts still crumpled on the floor, movies and books still scatter the table that sits right beside my un made bed.

It was all the same, but the feelings were not.

"Harry?" I already know it's her before I turn around, her small figure and petite face hasn't changed.

"Hi Gemma." I say closing the door behind me and wrapping my hands around my little sister.

"I haven't seen or heard from you in years. How are you? How's mom? Are you doing- you know- better? How's Zayn?"

"I know. Okay. Don't know. Sometimes.He won." I walk past her and down the stairs turning into the kitchen and grabbing a glass.

"Harry, why haven't I heard from you?"

"I saw you 2 christmas's ago." I chug down the glass, feeling the slick water slide down my dry throat.

"What about the other times?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"How's mom?"

"Haven't seen her in months. Last time I did she was dating her neighbor or something. I don't know."

"Okay but-"

"Why are you asking me so many questions Gemma?"

"I haven't seen you in 2 years Harry. I call and call but you never answer. I speak to mom once a week and you are never mentioned. I don't even know where you live. After dad-"

"Don't. Not here." Just the very thought of mentioning him brings imaginary oil to my throat, clogging my ability to breathe.

"After dad you just stopped caring. I mean- I know he was a horrible man but he is gone. You don't have to keep him with you wherever you go."

"No Gemma, you don't know how horrible he was because you were in boarding school. You never saw the cuts, and the burns." I walk over to the sleek of red that lies on the living room carpet.

"You see this?" I point to it, dragging her arm so she stands right under it. "This isn't red nail polish Gemma, this is mom's blood!" I drag her to the dent in wall that lies just above the tv.

"And this!" I scream "This is where a bud of a hammer hit. It was meant to hit me."

"Oh and let's not forget about this.." A small patch of tinted wood lies just outside the kitchen, always rougher then the rest. "That's where our father was going to set our mother to flames."

"I get it! I get it!" She screams her hands raking through her long dirty blonde hair,
"But I don't want that! I don't want the image of him doing all these things burned in my brain. I don't want to see him the way he truly was because then what? Cry for a dead man who doesn't deserve the tears. He's dead Harry. He's gone! And I'm not going live my life hating myself for being his daughter, or mop around until I'm fucking with him!"

"Gemma, I didn't mean to-" She's on the couch, not a single tear slipping from her eyes; she's a lot stronger then I remember.

"I know what you meant to do. You meant to tell me the full truth of something I already knew. You need to grow the fuck up Harry and realize that just because you are his son, you are not him. You cannot live your life hating everything and being numb to everyone because to you he's everywhere. That's not fair to you, or to anyone you should be loving."