I'm broken *completed*

I'm So Sorry For Not Being Strong Enough

Gray's POV

I woke up and rolled over. I tried to go back to sleep but thought of something. Natsu. I sat up and saw Porlyuscia push me back down. "Try to rest." She said and I sighed. "Where's Natsu?" I asked and she sighed. "He had a really bad panic attack two days ago and he's been home ever since." She said. I heard the door open and there stood Erza. "Is Natsu okay?" I asked to no one in particular. "If you want the answer you want to hear he's fine but if you want the honest answer then he's in a really bad way." She said. "What do you mean by bad way?" I asked, starting to get worried. "He isn't eating properly and I don't think he can look after his dogs or himself." She explained. "Can I see him?" I asked. "No!" Erza raised her voice. Did I say something wrong. "I'll check on him for you." She whispered and walked out. "Did I say something wrong?" I asked Porlyuscia who just shrugged.

Natsu's POV

I was sat on the counter crying my eyes out. I had just cut myself. That's 6 months clean out the window. I saw Luna whining at her food bowl so I got down and fed her. Her tail started wagging and that made me smile. I stroked her and went into my bedroom. I sat on the bed and heard a knock at the door. I got up and felt lightheaded. I walked towards the door and opened it. I looked up and saw Erza. "You look sick." She said. "Thanks." I whispered and let her in. I felt really dizzy so I sat down.

"You alright Natsu?" She asked and shut the door. "I'm fine." I whispered. "I don't believe that." She said and I looked at the floor. "I just feel dizzy." I said and she nodded her head. She grabbed a glass and turned the tap on. She filled it up with water and gave it to me. I took it and put it on the table. "You need to drink it Natsu." She said and I shook my head. I heard another knock at my door and I sighed. I got up and answered it. It was Lucy. I was shocked and she hugged me.

"L-Lucy?" I said and she started crying. "I-I'm sorry for everything!" She cried. We split the hug and I let her in. "I can't tell him to drink that water so do you think you could?" Erza asked her. Lucy nodded her head and smiled at me. I smiled back and she picked the glass up. She gave it to me and I sighed. "Do I have to?" I asked and she nodded her head. I drank a little bit of it and put it back on the table. "Go take a shower." She ordered and I sighed. "Do I h-" "Yes, you have to." She said and I got up. I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. After I had finished in there I went into my bedroom and got dressed. I put a hoodie and Jean's on. I brushed my hair and put my chain on. I sighed and went back into the living room.

"You feel better now don't you?" Lucy asked. I smiled and nodded my head. "Can you try to eat something Natsu?" Erza asked and I shook my head. "Gramps needs to talk to you." She said and I nodded my head. We all got up and went to the guild. When we got there I saw Cara sniffing the guild. She then saw me and ran as fast as she could towards me. I didn't feel anything. Why do I feel so numb? I stroked her and went into Gramps' office. He noticed me and smiled. I closed the door behind me and sat down.

"Erza told me that you're not eating." He said and I started playing with my nails. "I'm going to tell you something but you have to stay here." He said and I nodded my head as a reply. "Gray has woken up." He said and I stood up but stood straight back down as Gramps gave me the death stare. "Sorry..." I whispered. "As I was saying." He said and rolled his eyes. The sas. "Gray has woken up but I don't think you can look after him as you can't even look after yourself." He said which made me feel sad. Why did that make me sad?

"Natsu?" Gramps said and I looked up. "Do you want to see him?" He asked. "No." I whispered and he was shocked. "He'll just tell me to eat something but I just can't." I said. "No one understands." I whispered and Gramps nodded his head. "You can go now." He said and smiled. That was the nice version of telling me to piss off. I got up and opened the door. I closed it behind me and Cara ran towards me. "Natsu?" I heard a voice I recognise say. I looked up and saw Gray. I looked down and saw Cara scratching at my legs.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I smiled. "I'm fine..." I whispered and tried to walk away but he stopped me from going anywhere. I could see Erza watching us in the corner of my eye. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you're fine." He said angrily. I looked down and felt tears start to form in my eyes. "I-I... I can't." I whispered and he sighed. "Show me your arms." He said and I tried to run off but he stopped me. "Natsu." He said angrily. I tried to run off again but he stopped me. "Show me your arms Natsu." He raised his voice which caused the dragon slayers to look at us. I stared crying and he sighed. "You've cut again haven't you?" "No." I said. He could tell that I was lying.

"Just show me your f***ing arms Natsu!!" He shouted which caused the whole guild to look at us. "No!" I raised my voice and he looked down. "Why Natsu... Why?" His voice cracked. I saw Cara sit in front of me and she started growling. Everyone was shocked. She has never growled before, well not near me at least.

"You were 6 months clean..." Gray whispered and I looked down. "I know..." I said. "So then why did you do it?" He asked sadly. "You don't understand, maybe if you understood then you'd be a little bit nicer to me." I said and he clenched his fists. Erza came towards us and Gray gave her the death stare. "It hurts me when you do this to yourself." He said as he looked back at me. "It hurts me too, do you think I want this?! No, if the choice to be normal again was there then I'd take it!" I raised my voice. "Then you could at least try!" Gray shouted.

"I'm trying hard enough!! I try so hard to be happy and you assume that I'm not trying?! It's not my fault I want to freakin die!!!" I shouted. "I-I..." Gray looked down and I realised that he had started crying. "I'm sorry for feeling like I want to die, I'm sorry for being a mess, I'm sorry for using self harm as I method to cope! You just don't understand..." I whispered the last part. "But I want to understand so I can help you." He said. "Yeah right." I whispered and he seemed angry again.

"You don't think this is hard for me as well?! I get scared everyday thinking that you're going to kill yourself!!" He shouted. "I GET SCARED AS WELL GRAY!! I DON'T WANT TO GIVE IN BUT I DON'T SEE THE POINT IN LIVING!!" I shouted in his face. "YOU SHOULD LIVE FOR YOUR FRIENDS AND FOR ME!!" He screamed. "I AM TRYING MY HARDEST!!!" I screamed even louder and burst into tears. Erza grabbed my wrist and took me out of the guild. She sat down by the wall so I sat next to her.

"You alright?" She asked. "I'm fine." I replied. "Natsu, please just tell me everything." She said and I nodded my head. "I don't think I could ever live without him, he's the only person I have. Without him I just can't live. I'm such a selfish person, I didn't even feed my dog last night and for the past two nights I just gave Cara to Mira like it was nothing, I can't just expect other people to look after my dogs just because I can't look after them. I don't want to eat anymore, I'm just not hungry. I try my best to be happy but it's so hard. I-I don't know how much longer I can take." I said and she hugged me. I cried and cried until I just felt numb. After a while I went home and was ready to do it. I walked into the bathroom and grabbed the pills. I grabbed the note I had written a few days ago and put it on the counter. I took all the pills and waited. After a while I felt really dizzy and then all I saw was darkness.

Gray's POV

I decided to go to my house and when I got there I saw a note on the counter. I read the first sentence and ran into the bathroom. I saw Natsu laying on the floor holding a jar of pills. I tried to find a pulse but there wasn't one. I called an ambulance and tried my best to help Natsu but I think he had already gone ages ago...

After about 5 minutes the ambulance arrived and rushed him to hospital. I ran to the guild and opened the door slowly. I shut it behind me and fell to my knees. Everyone looked at me and I burst into tears. "NATSU TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF!!!" I screamed and Erza rushed to my side with Gajeel and Levy. They all hugged me and I cried. "He's going to die isn't he... Just like my sister..." We all hear Ash whisper. That made me cry even more and Gramps came rushing in the room.

"I got a phone call from... Oh, I guess you already know." He said and I raised an eyebrow. "Natsu... "

Haha cliffhanger

Should I kill Natsu off or should I let him live. I've been planning to kill him off but idk if I should actually do it.