The Halls of Westwood [BxB]

Chapter 14

"Do you want to know my favorite thing about you?" Lukas asked. "Your smile... Your pretty smile... I can never get enough of it. Just how positive you've always been... I know you're strong enough to get through this"

"Why are you saying this?" Beau asked quietly.

"Because I love you... I love you so much, Beau... Please never forget that" Lukas gave Beau a pearl white smile despite his watering eyes.

"Please just stop saying these things... You can tell them to me later. Right now we're supposed to be devising a plan to get you away from your dad... Not-" Beau froze as it all came into picture and his throat tightened. "Not acting like your saying goodbye..." He whispered.

"I am saying goodbye" Lukas sighed as he stood up. He walked over and grabbed onto Beau's shoulders. "Just let this be good for me"

"No" Beau's voice cracked. "You aren't going anywhere. You aren't saying goodbye. I won't let you" he snapped.

"I love you" Lukas continued. Beau tried to pull away but Lukas's grip was tight and wouldn't budge. "Please just say it back"

"No"

"Beau, I love you"

"No"

"Please at least smile for me... I want to see that pretty smile. Please"

"No"

"I love you... Just say it back... I need to hear it"

"No. No. No" Beau could feel himself begin to collapse into Lukas's arms as a sob overtook him making his entire body shake. "No, Lukas. Just no. You aren't leaving me. You aren't going anywhere. Just stay... Please, please stay"

"I'm so sorry, Beau" Lukas whispered as he held the small boy against his chest. "But I can't... The least you could do is make this easy for me"

"You aren't leaving. Do you hear me? You aren't leaving me alone because I can't do it. I can't be here without you. I love you... I love you... I love you..." Beau was overtaken by another sob as he clung to Lukas for dear life. Lukas was silent for a while. Quietly holding Beau while he cried.

"Okay" Lukas finally decided. Beau felt a wave of relief wash over him. Unable to pick himself up, Lukas brought them over to the bed and laid Beau in his usual spot. He pressed a gentle kiss to the copper-haired boy's forehead with a small smile. "I do love you, Beau... I promise I do"

"I love you too... Just don't go" Lukas nodded and a small, sad, but bright smile reached Beau's lips giving Lukas exactly what he wanted.

The two boys fell asleep wrapped in one another's arms. Beau had tried to stay awake just in case. He tried to stay awake long enough to be sure Lukas wasn't leaving but exhaustion from all of his crying had taken over... And Lukas wasn't there when he woke up. He didn't see him the next day either... Well, he did. But it was just the glimpse of his gorgeous blonde angel disappearing behind a body bag.

He shouldn't have fallen asleep. He should have tried harder. He should have clung on to him tighter. He should have looked for help the moment Lukas started having suicidal thoughts. He should have convinced told him he loved him a million more times so that he'd believe him and stay.

Beau's throat tightened as he stared off at the blank spot on his wall. His hands shook and for a moment he was standing in the barn. His skin was burning and the hardwood collapsed around him in smoke. But that wasn't what hurt... What hurt was that all he could see was him and Lukas dancing to Elvis. Lukas's gorgeous voice humming in his ear followed by a series of 'I love yous'.