The Halls of Westwood [BxB]

Chapter 21

"Bloody hell" Markos groaned. He glanced over at Beau's half of the room to find that Aiden had stayed over again. Markos didn't mind it... He really didn't. But it was stressful enough changing around Beau or trying to change before he woke up. He knew he didn't have to... They were just scars he could easily lie his way around. But he was still self-conscious about them and something told him that Aiden was active enough in the community to recognize them. He didn't want to go through the panic of having another person know... It just made him uncomfortable.

Aiden had been over often enough the past few days. Usually, he'd just lay with Beau and maybe play with his hair if Beau let him touch him. Beau had been struggling... A lot. To the point where Markos had been bringing him his homework from missed classes more often than he would have liked. But, Aiden was always there. He'd stay over and lay next to Beau just until the boy would finally fall asleep. Then he'd leave before it got too late and head back to his dorm on Beau's good days. On his bad days, he usually ended up staying over.

Markos climbed out of bed and dug through his drawers until he found a maroon button-up, a black belt, and cream-colored pants. He avoided looking in the mirror as he pulled a baggy t-shirt he always wore at night over his head, allowing himself to stretch for a moment. He wasted no more time buttoning it up until his chest was covered and pulled on his jeans as well.

Showering and changing always felt awkward and unsettling for Markos. He tried to go late at night or early in the morning so fewer people would be in the showers. Even with the thin sheets of plastic to cover him from the world, there was always that unsettling fear of something going wrong...

He didn't mind if people knew... Well, he wouldn't have minded if he hadn't given up so much to appease his mother by staying quiet. But if he did ever decide to tell more people, he wanted it to be on his terms. He didn't want it to be another Jayce situation... That had nearly destroyed him. It was a miracle he hadn't broken down right there. It was a miracle he had managed to force himself into numbness in a matter of seconds.

Even with him being out to Jayce, it was proving to be difficult to just relax around him. He knew Jayce didn't care if he wasn't perfect. He knew Jayce didn't see him as less of a man. He knew Jayce cared and that he was accepting of Markos regardless. But it was still terrifying... Intimacy as a whole had proven to be terrifying. He hated freaking out at just the idea of being shirtless or naked in front of him.

He was grateful Jayce never asked for anything more. He never tried to slip a hand up Markos's shirt or did anything without asking first. He was really grateful for that since Markos had never been great at communicating his needs when it came to intimacy. But he also didn't want to live in fear and discomfort with himself. He was so tired of it... He just wanted things to be simple.

He finally finished getting dressed, fixing his eyebrows, and reached out for his medication. Almost everyone had medication at Westwood. It was refilled every week to avoid overdoses and Markos was one of the few people who had medication prescribed for something that wasn't for mental pain. He wasted no time in taking the usual pill before glancing over at Aiden and Beau.

Aiden was finally awake, his messy dark hair fell over his eyes. He shoved it away before meeting Markos's gaze and a sheepish smile reached his lips. Markos had mixed feelings about Aiden. Aiden was nice, sure. And Beau really seemed to like him. But that was where his compliments ended. He didn't know what it was about Aiden that bothered him so much, but there was just something off.

"Hey... Sorry, I fell asleep" Aiden yawned before rubbing his eyes.

"I noticed" The words were a bit more forced than he had intended. Markos closed up his pill organizer before turning back to Aiden. "Don't the nurses ever wonder where you are?"