Recovery- Loki x Reader (Female)

chapter 14

A/N: THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALMOST 400 READS!!! this book means a lot to me and i am so happy you guys are enjoying it so far! on another note, the cover of this book is kind of boring, so if anyone wants to make one for it i would appreciate it a lot! you will also get a shout out. enjoy this chapter :)

P.S. y/m/n means your mothers name and y/l/n means your last name (you made one up when you got to the tower)

Your Pov:

'This was it, this was what I was waiting for.' you thought. You had never known your parents. You knew nothing about them, not even their names. You were taken by Hydra so young that you had no memories of them either. You always liked to think that your parents were still alive, but that was a stupid thought. You had always thought your parents lost you and were living happily somewhere and had moved on from losing you, you hoped they didn't give you up or abandon you.

"Umm, y/n, you there?" Bruce said. Apparently you got lost in your train of thought because you were not paying attention. Your hands were shaking slightly with anticipation, so, Loki grabbed one of them to try and calm you down.

You quickly nodded towards Bruce so he could continue what he was saying.

"I don't know how much you know about your parents, but from what I know you know almost nothing about them, correct?" he asked, you nodded at his words.

"Do you want to have this conversation in private, or do you want everyone here?" Bruce asked.

"N-no it's fine, they can stay." you said. Realistically, it was only Loki, everyone else was surprisingly still asleep.

"Your fathers name is Wolfgang von Strucker, do you know who that is?" Bruce asked you. As soon as his name left Bruce's mouth, you started shaking. Strucker was the man who tortured you for all of your life. Even if you were safe here, in the compound, he still haunted you now. He was the cause for all of your nightmares, panic attacks, and depression.

Tears were falling down your face and Bruce already knew the answer to his question. You started sobbing, the asshole who you thought took you was actually your father.

"W-who's m-my m-mother?" you shakily asked Bruce. As all of this was happening, Loki placed your head on his chest and was running his fingers through your hair. it always seemed to calm you down.

"Your mothers name was y/m/n." he said. You looked up at him in shock.

"W-was?" you questioned.

"Unfortunately, your mom was killed in 1997. I am so sorry y/n." he said sympathetically. You stared at him in disbelief. You quickly got up and went to the place your place of comfort, your room. You got up to your room quickly and shut the door. You never shut your door because you knew everyone would walk in there anyways, so there was never a point in it.

"F.-F.R.I.D.A.Y., l-lock the d-door please. D-don't let a-anyone in." you said as you slid down the door. You were sobbing in a heap on your floor for god knows how long.

"Ms. y/l/n, your heart rate has skyrocketed rapidly, I am sensing a panic attack, should I contact Mr. Stark?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. said.

"N-n-no t-thank you." you said. Your breath started to quicken and it was harder to breathe. You put your head between your knees since it used to help you with your panic attacks, but it was no use. You got up and stumbled more into your room and made your way to a cabinet under your T.V. You pulled out a paper bag and tried to focus on filling it up with air. It started to work, and eventually your breaths evened out.

You sat on your floor for awhile just thinking things over and obtaining all the information you heard. Your armpits started to smell so you decided to jump in the shower. You haven't looked in a mirror after you woke up and saying you looked like crap was an understatement; your hair was a knotted mess, you had dark circles under your eyes, and your clothes were slightly ripped. You took off your clothes and started the water. You turned back to your sink to grab something when you looked in your mirror. You tried to never look at your body in them because it would normally lead to bad thoughts, this time it was worse.

You looked over your body. You noticed you gained weight, it wasn't visibly noticeable to anyone else since no one saw you naked but you could tell. To everyone else you looked normal, granted your cheeks were less sunken in but overall normal. You were a already a small person as it is, and you were underweight before, so when you started eating more, no one said anything.

Your train of thought stopped when you focused on your stomach, specifically the scars. Now, your scars had a different backstory to them. Before, they came from scientists at Hydra, now they came from your birthfather. That thought alone made you want to vomit, so, you did. You turned on your speaker so you could listen to your music.

At this point, the water had been running for awhile, so you stepped in. You just stood there for awhile crying and listening to Adele. (or any other sad music you like, i just like adele). You slowly started to clean yourself off, starting with your hair. You shampooed it twice and moved onto conditioner. At that point, the water started to turn cold, so you turned it onto the hottest setting it could go to, you winced at the heat.

You continued on to wash your body, rinse your conditioner, and get out of the shower. When you stepped out, you wiped off the steam on the mirror and your whole body was almost red from how hot the water was, but you didn't care. You brushed your teeth, did your hair care/skin care routine and made your way back into your room. You put on an oversized sweatshirt that belonged to Bucky, sweatpants, underwear and socks.

You made your way over to your essential oil diffuser and filled it up using your powers, and put in lavender. You got to your couch, wanting to find an escape from your life, and dove into your favorite book. You wanted to forget your reality for awhile and opted for Harry Potter's instead.

You were interrupted by someone banging on your door, which caused you to jump a little bit. You asked who it was and you were surprised to find out it was Wanda and Natasha. You were all good friends but you expected literally anyone else to be at your door. You told them to go away, but they didn't instead, they kept banging on your door until you opened it.

'This is going to be fun.' you thought as you opened your door.