too scared to be afraid

chapter seven: highs and lows

"Nothing good happens when you let the past consume you."

007: highs and lows

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Hoseok had once feared everything.

Mirrors, the sound of footsteps, wind, rain. If you could see or hear it, he was scared of it.

These fears didn't come out of no where. Each individual fear came with it's own backstory and pain, no matter how long or how simple the story was.

For instance, his fear of mirrors.

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backstory: 001

He couldn't breathe. His lungs were failing him.

Why were they doing this now? Now wasn't the time. If he passed out in here, his whole life would come to an end. It didn't matter how worthless his life was, he wanted his life's end to be something he gets to control. The only thing he gets to control.

They were outside, the mother and father. Not his mother and father, no they were long dead. The mother and father of the orphanage.

Really, they weren't together but the younger kids just needed titles that they could refer to them as.

Mother was a wealthy woman. She was rich and a woman who lived in a mansion. Actually, she only came to the orphanage to help her reputation.

Father was an older man who hated everything. He acted so fake, it hurt to watch. But the children couldn't see that. He hated kids and since Hoseok was the only teenager, he could only express and get away with expressing his hatred on him.

Hoseok got ten minutes in the bathroom. No more than that. If he was in there for eleven, he'd be in the basement all night. But of course, neither Mother or Father would tell him unless he had done it.

No warnings, no nothing. Hoseok had to regain his ability to breathe before he was punished.

More than ten minutes had passed.

That was a given. It had been a mistake at first. He accidentally spent eleven minutes. The boy was only fifteen, in his second year of high school. He was young and afraid, and it was that fear that ruined him and made him hide.

What would hiding do? It'd make it worse.

That didn't proccess in the boy's mind. All he wanted to do was stay put.

Hoseok chose to hide in the shower where he peeked out of curtains. Maybe they would forget he was in there..

His eyes fluttered close for a few seconds, his panic attack had made him drowsy.

They opened a minute later when he heard someone clear their throat.

The reflection of Father was in the mirror. He hasn't even heard he door being unlocked and opened he was so out of it.

Father's eyes were dark and his expression was hard to read. Hoseok slowly stood up.

In a blink of an eye, Father grabbed his throat and slammed him against the tiled wall. He hadn't even heard a sound until his back hit the wall.

Now, Hoseok really couldn't breathe. The fear of dying at another's hands did nothing in helping to free himself.

In the mirror now, he could see Mother. Mother held one of the babies in her arms with a large grin on her face. She was happy?

He passed out after that. All he could see was the smile on her face.

When he woke up, he was in the basement with mirrors all around him.

Father laughed at his fear.

No, it wasn't just seeing Mother and Father in the mirror in the bathroom. That hadn't traumatized him.

It was the little game they'd play now.

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Hoseok wasn't in his right mind at the moment.

Two in the morning, in front of his bathroom mirror. He mindlessly swung at it with his fist.

The mirror shattered..

It shattered. It finally shattered! How Hoseok smiled.

"You..you can't hurt me anymore," he mumbled, still out of it. The mirrors would force him to watch. They'd force him to see.

He swung at it again, causing a large shard of the mirror to slice his knuckle.

"No more games." Did you know that it hurt more when you could see? It hurt so much more with the mirrors.

This time, he slammed both fists on the mirrors, trying to remove the images from his mind.

"No more hurt. Mirrors are bad, Father."

Like that, he passed out sitting on the sink with shards of the mirror all around him. His fists dripped with blood but he couldn't bring himself to care.

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Seokjin POV

Seokjin knew whatever Hoseok had gone through was terrible. He knew it must've really hurt him.

He couldn't bare to watch through cameras. He even left his mansion to go to Hoseok.

There, he found, Hoseok was already passed out with blood everywhere. If he wasn't already getting used to the idea of blood, he'd be sick.

Gently, he sat Hoseok up on the toliet seat, using the first aid kit he had brought to tend to his injuries.

Seokjin laid Hoseok in bed and covered him up before going to clean up the bathroom.

No trace of blood left. He wouldn't make Hoseok remember any of it.

All the blood gone, he threw away all of the shards of the mirror.

He took his phone out and decided to call one of his maids. Seokjin would make sure to replace the mirror tonight.

Tomorrow, Hoseok would be saved from the memory of last night. The past might not be able to be changed but Seokjin hoped this would make it easier on the boy.

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edited.