too scared to be afraid

chapter thirty-eight: make it right

"Mistakes are a common occurrence, but even a single mistake can be detrimental."

038: make it right

xxxx

A muffled groan slipped from his lips in the morning.

Slowly, he felt himself being brought back to consciousnesses. First, feeling the warmth of the bed and then the arms of whoever it was that was holding him close.

There were times when he cherished the feeling of waking up, sleepily dozing off in bed without any cares in the world. Well, that he wanted to face head on. There were always worries that he could ignore.

But he couldn't bask in the feeling this morning.

It filtered in his half-asleep state that he had been woken up by the sound of someone crying at his door. He hated the sound, it didn't sit right with him. He hated when people were sad.

"Oh, Jimin hyung," a sad voice said. It was Jungkook. "Were you out here all night? C'mon, let's go start breakfast."

"But I can't," Jimin whined, voice hoarse and rough. "Hoseok hyung--he hates me now."

"He doesn't hate you, hyung. He's just upset right now. Let's go make breakfast. You can apologize then with a nice meal. That'll make him forgive you."

"R-Really?"

Hoseok couldn't listen anymore. Hand grabbing onto the closest pillow to cover over his ears.

So because he couldn't control his anger yesterday, Jimin wasn't able to sleep at all.

What his friend did wasn't right and that was definitely true but did Hoseok react too meanly? He might've been overreacting and causing issues.

He hated this struggle of his. He was unable to understand things like this.

Diagnosed with depression among other things, he was prone to getting irritated. But were his feelings unjustified? He had read in a book that feelings were important and all feelings should be validated but were his too unreasonable? He hated that he felt so guilty. It made his stomach churn.

"Hyung? Are you awake?" Namjoon mumbled, loosening his grip on Hoseok's waist.

"Yeah, I am."

Namjoon let go of him, sitting up. For a moment the two just listened in silence. They could hear Jungkook's feeble attempts to comfort Jimin, saying things about how kind and forgiving Hoseok was and how he didn't need to drown in his guilt any longer.

"You know, Jimin is-"

"I know, Joon. When I woke up, I heard him crying at the door." Hoseok knew it wasn't right to let Jimin be upset any longer. He already missed out on a whole night's sleep because of his guilt but did Jimin suffer enough to know how wrong it was to punch his friend?

While he dealt with the mental consequences of Jimin's actions, Eunwoo was dealing with the physical ones.

Hoseok just knew that his jaw would be aching for who knows how long because of that strong punch. He hated for his classmate to be in pain. He'd have rather had Jimin punch him instead but he knew the boy wouldn't ever do that to him.