too scared to be afraid

chapter forty-four: running away

When he woke, he was in a train.

The reality of the loud, fast-moving vehicle forced him awake, searching around for answers. He found that the train was quite crowded. But beside him, Jin and Namjoon on both sides. He lifted his head off of Namjoon's shoulder, which he must've been laying on for awhile since he was sure he'd been sleeping for ages, and that small movement alerted the taller that he was awake.

 "Hyung, are you still tired? You can go back to sleep if you'd like," Namjoon murmured, quiet but loud enough for him to hear. Seokjin looked to his left, where Hoseok was, and shut his book closed. 

"Seok-ah, you're awake."

Hoseok was timid. He usually became quiet when there was a large gathering of any kind. He brought a hand up to rub the sleep out of his eyes and looked at Jin, then out the window. The shock was still trying to process in his mind. 

"We're on a train? Where are we going?" He asked softly and quietly. 

The sleepy boy made Jin's heart internally explode. 

"To Japan for a little trip. I have another house there where we're going to stay for awhile, okay angel?"

"Japan? Why? What happened at the house?"

"We're in trouble," Namjoon said earnestly in a hushed voice. There was no reason to lie about everything. But there was reason to hold some truth back. "We had to leave the house urgently. That's the only reason we'd pull something like this without giving you time and asking if you wanted to go. I'm sorry we scared you, hyung. Everything will be fixed soon." It was a promise, but one that he couldn't keep for sure. 

"Oh, okay," he said softly. He couldn't imagine the boys doing anything that put them in danger. The whole murdering thing was forgotten in his mind. Actually, when he had shut himself in his room, he had put a mental block in his own mind for his own sake. He couldn't believe it. 

His brain refused to believe that the six boys would ever kill someone, and it drove him mad. In order to prevent him from going completely insane, his mind pushed the memory out of his mind. He let go of all the memories he had of the boys confessing to murder. His poor brain couldn't comprehend that such gentle, such pure people would ever pull something like that.

So, while everyone believed he knew and accepted it. He didn't know. He didn't anymore because he couldn't. 

"We're going to go on a plane after this and we'll be there by tomorrow. We have another two hours on this train so if you'd like to sleep that's fine," Namjoon offered.

"What time is it?"

"Almost eleven," Jin answered. It was dark outside, and that made the whole thing seem even more eerie and surreal. 

"Oh okay. I'm tired."

Namjoon took his head in his large hand, gently urging his head to rest upon his shoulder like it had been before. 

"Then, sleep, hyung," he whispered, running a hand through Hoseok's hair. Hoseok melted, eyes fluttering closed as expected. 

"Namjoon, look," Jin said, pointing his phone towards Namjoon, only once he knew Hoseok was asleep. On the screen, there was the familiar kitchen and living room on display. The video was from a few hours ago, when they had left. 

The house had been flooded with police officers, all with protective gear on and guns at the ready. They raided the house, making a mess of it. A lot of other reinforcement came in and two people were surveying the area thoroughly, like they were in charge of the situation.