The Augury

Part 105

[Cebo]

" I know that I cannot go back and get back the years, but I hope that we can have the future, in whatever way you are prepared to let me be a part of your life. I don't want to interfere in what I pray has been a good relationship with your adoptive family, I don't want to interrupt your life, or cause any problems. I simply want to know you. No matter how you respond, know that I will always love you in my heart, and will always be sorry you had to be adopted and that I could not raise you. . ."

Him: I understand Cebo I would like that too "
I smiled looking at him, I'm just grateful that he's alive and even though spending time with him for the first time was not ideal I'm just happy that we got to talk about my past, my reason for giving him up, my challenges of surviving and to let him know that I'm only human and I make mistake but one mistake I will never regret is giving birth to him, I know that I will struggle to be a parent since my I was raised by a woman who failed me so many time, but one thing for sure off is that I'm not my mother I am Nomcebo a mother to Alexender a beautiful brave boy.

Him: you are very beautiful and look so young ?"
I smiled " thank you ... I guess you take after me because you also handsome ..."
He side smile, I spend just a few hours with Alex but I must admit he is too quiet, he speaks when spoken to and only answers with close-ended answers, he is definitely my son
Him: what's so funny "
Me: you...."

The door swung open and a tall brunet white man with dark  piercing eyes look directly at me with a straight face that gave me chills

Him: Alex"
Alex raised his head and looked at him, this was a pretty sight to watch Alex genuinely smiling at this guy.
Alex: Austin! "
He said with so much excitement, even tried to move but held his chest in pain, I was about to help him out, but this white guys eyes made me froze 
Him: it's fine don't move " he said to Alex making his way to his side, he then looked at me

Him: do you mind"
Ok, now he's pissing me off who the hell is this rude guy,
Me: Ummm...
... "I felt a hand on holding me, a good-looking...too polished smell like an expensive perfume shop black guy, God his gorgeous as in cute ... Too cute to be a guy cute ...wow I was enchanted by his looks and gentle he was.

"Please let's give them space sisi  ... Angabulala umuntu uma uzama ukumulwisa manje... " he said helping me up and escorting me out of the room
White guy: Nkosi I hope you not talking bullshit about me in your language! "

I turned and looked at him
Nkosi: please don't mind him, he is always like this in the morning "
Me: who is that guy? "
Nkosi: that dutch bag is Austin Fox ...he Alex Big brother "
Me: oh my god ... I didn't know"
Him: it's ok I fully understand...I'm Nkosi Majozi... let me guess you Alex biological mother "
It was strange to hear someone call me someone's mom, I have not wrap my head around that as yes but surprisingly it made me smile it felt good.
Me: yes I am "
Him: you look so young "
Me: I had him when I was 15 do the maths "
Him: wow God works in mysterious ways ..."
Me: indeed "

Him: mind me asking what happens last night? Why is Alex in the hospital? "
Me: uuum... It.."

We were rudely interrupted again by my  arrogant
Austin: Nkosi what the fuck is going on ?"
He said stepping out of the room, I forced a smile he is, after all, a  part of the family that raised my son.
Nkosi: Ozy this is Nomcebo his Alex mother...I mean Biological mother "
He did not once look in my direction my smile fell down when he said
" Can you find a Dr for me, please... And stop telling me things  that will not help my brother "
He directed his statement to Nkosi, while I drop my mouth open in shock
Nkosi: Austin!! "
Austin clicked his tongue and walk back into the ward

Nkosi looked at me, "I will talk to him "
Me: he hates me and he does not even know me!"
Him: his new at this parenting thing, after Mrs. Fox died he made him Alex legal guardian, and few months after his mothers passing and him given such responsibility we find out that Alex in the hospital ... it's killing him more than you know that he could not protect his brother "
Me: but it was  beyond any human control ... What I and Alex went through"
Him: look Cebo I know that even though I still don't understand it or have a full picture of it, but Austin is not a people person but loves that boy like his own "
Me: I did not come here to separate him from his adoptive parents or family "
Him: I know that but the Fox family has put So much work into raising Alex, making  themselves vulnerable, opening their hearts to the boy it might be hard for them to  think that you will suddenly  step in and take the reins of the relationship and make it  yours "
I folded my arms and looked at him
Him: give him time, I will talk to him  and the family, ok !"

He brushed my shoulder and walked away, I stood in the hallway like a lost puppy, I made my way to Alex door but all I heard was him laughing so loud and talking to his brother, a tear fell down my eyes and I caught it
" stay strong Cebo..." I convinced myself.
I made my way to the restroom washed my face and held my tears back, walking down the passage to the lobby I was dreading what's waiting for me, I try to make up a story that everything is ok, but its time to face the music now.

" Nomcebo "
I looked up and I was meet by Duma
Her: are you ok?"
Me: yes..."
Him: How is your son ?"
I facked a smile "  recovering "
He nodded,
Him: I bought you Londa cloths I hope they fit and mom made you food "
Me: thank you, you didn't have to"
Him: well your mother is family, so are you "

I haven't heard that word or anyone say the word 'family ' to me for over 15 years, I'm well into my late twenties now, and the past few years of my life have been transitional and momentous, I ran away from home and traveled across the globe trying to find missing peace. It was a cocktail of change that plucked me out of youth and catapulted me into adulthood. I can't pinpoint exactly when it happened, but I started to view my family in a very different light. The winds of acceptance were beginning to stir, I don’t think there is one though, that can really explain how I feel when I hear him saying that it really warms my heart.

Him: I spoke to some nurse here you can use the showers..."
Me: not now please ... I have been dreading this question for almost 24 hours a part of me does not want to know but ...but ...oh my God Sfi...Sfiso...is he ok"
Him: he was on surgery for hours yesterday, Dr did not allow visitors till he is stable  ... "
I started crying and he gave me a hug
Him: Cebo it's ok ..."
I shook my head in his chest
Just a few weeks in this relationship and I might actually lose him just when I found him, why do people die around me? my anxiety was pulling my mind in different directions that I felt my heart about to explode the picture of him injured flash my mind pulling me deep into this rabbit hole where I imagine scenarios in which my boyfriend might be dead this unsettling morbid, nonsensical place
That keeps replaying the scene over and over in my head has manifested my anxiety and made me think it was all a dream, got me thinking that I no longer wish to explore what's real, but now I'm faced with my worst fears.

Duma: come with me "
Me: I'm so scared "
Him: I know I'm right here with you "
I hugged my self as we take an  elevator to the ER wards, I keep praying that God please not Sfiso ...not the only man I ever loved
Him: he is in there "

All I see I machines pinned on him and his chest covered in bandages his arm and part of his face has plasters, he has an oxygen mask on his face, I walk  to him slowly with tears blinding my vision, I held my face the pain in my heart to see him like this was unbearable,

It took me almost 15 min just crying, feeling his pain, and also allowing myself to calm down, I swallowed set down and held his hand
Me: Sthandwa sami ... With the warmth of love the healing element that I possess from the depth of my heart, I summon your body to be healed and cured of your sufferings now wake up "

My hands are shaking my pendant turned purple the symbol of love l feel for him 
Me: I love you.... come back to me now "
I kissed his cheek and run my hands on his head
Me: Sfiso come back to me "
I whisper in his ear,

The Dr walked in and looked at me stunned
Him: you are not supposed to here mam"
Me: he is my boyfriend "
Dr: then allow me to do my job, come back during visitation hours "
Me: how is he ?"
Dr: please wait for me outside..."
I look at Sfiso sleeping peacefully I kiss his hand and walk out,
Duma: he will be ok"
Me: please borrow your phone I need to call his son"

"Hello "
I wiped My tears and sniff
Me: hi, Omnia it's Cebo"
There was silence he senses something is wrong, I wiped my tears and listen to his heavy breathing
Me: he's going to be ok "
Him: Cebo what do you mean ?"
Me: there was an accident ...
.
.
To be continued