The Augury

Part 16

[Nomcebo]

I look at him and the moments appear so abruptly that there isn't even time to grab a box of tissues before my cheeks were wet with my tears, I tried to hold them back but the question rang in my head like a siren
" your real name ?"

Was I ready or prepared for that question?... NO!
Life can be cruel sometimes, things happen unexpectedly, and sometimes hit you in a way you weren’t prepared for. I’ve thought about sharing this very intimate, personal, and very vulnerable story for quite some time now, but always wanted to protect my family and therefore kept it a secret only my closest friends knew. By close I mean Ziqubu.

But when I first talk about my story it was to a guy who was going through a difficult spiritual journey his name was Trevor Michaels,
he felt what I felt, what I saw what I heard, he prayed for me and cleanse me and made me forget, he practically healed me and stopped the wailing sound in my ears that was tormenting me.

It's  been years since I last heard a sound of a baby cry in my dreams or ears, the very same cry that Trevor warned about 
"Your past is linked with your future when the baby cries again you will know that it's time to face your past "

I stood up and hug my self I looked at the green grass of Sfiso  back yard,
Him: are you ok ?"
Me: yes "
Him: I'm sorry "
Me: it's ok, how did you find out that I'm not who I say I am?"
Him: it's my job "
I smiled that was a stupid question off cause he would have found our if he did a background check on me

Me: you know Sfiso,
LIFE is perfectly imperfect, life can be wonderfully stunning but it also can hit you and smash you to the ground. In the past 14 years besides struggling  to survive, trying to make a living, running away, and brainwashing myself with work,
I came to learn and understand  in this past years that no matter how much I tried to run from my secret my past it will always catches up with me,

I moved states, changed friends, switched jobs, lost myself, found myself, graduated from high school, college, and no matter what I did to forget the past it always found a way to find me.

But I'm sick of hiding what happened, so sick of protecting the people who hurt me, and so tired of feeling like I didn’t even know the girl staring back at me in the mirror" I breath our loud and looked at him

Today I'm making an impulsive decision to take everything out of the backpack that I’d been carrying around for so long and see it for what it is.
I don’t want to downplay what happened to me but its time  I understood that it was something that happened and not part of who I am,

Him: Why did you run away from home Cebo ?"
Me: my Name is Nomcebo Makhaye
I was just a little girl who lived like a princess, an only child to my parents ..."
.
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[Alex ]
I look at her as she rocks me, she so young yet beautiful I realize that I have her nose and lips, her eyes filled with sorrow she wipes her tears and she gives me to a white lady who I call my mother now
" take care of him"
Mom smile as she looks at the skinny newborn baby my eyes connect with her soul a few minutes after I was born maybe it was my fate to be raised by such an extortionary woman.

I slowly open my eyes as I step out of her heard I move my hands from her head and sit next to her, these days she has been dreaming about me the first day she held me in her arms, it's like she deliberately trying to show me the first and last memory I have of my biologic mother.

I'm walking up and down in my mother's room I'm biting my nails as the beeping sound of this machine sing like a broken record in my ears,
The last days and hours of my mom’s life are here, a lot of stuff came up that I wasn’t prepared for, deciding between keeping her in the hospital versus taking care of her at home, but my mom being stubborn she beat us to that and wanted her final hour to be in her bed, In her house.