The Augury

Part 119

[Cebo ]

I miss the times when he would hold my hand or hug me, and make me feel like there are no worries in the world. We could chit-chat for hours, without realizing how quickly time would pass. But today, all my conversations are one-sided. I am not sure how much of it gets to him.

He went for another brain scan this morning and I'm panicking waiting for the result, being in the hospital with him and seeing him getting brain scans and him looking so weak is just hard to bear witnesses, I don't know how to talk to people about it and I found myself wanting to play a role of keeping busy. I would pray...talk to him, meditate, speak to the doctors about trying to get his scans brought forward and distracting myself with fiddling with his linen,

" hi Omnia"
I decided to call him since this morning I have been calling him and updating him,
" I need to speak to my dad "
Me: uuuh "
Him: his back from doing his scan right?"
Me: yes "
Him: face time me, please...I need to speak with him"
Me: oo...ok"
I video called him and turned the phone to face his father

He sniffed and did not say a word for few minutes only sniffing, this was the saddest thing I have ever seen,
Him: timmer...Your dad died when you were 6. I don't know how you knew what a great father was, but man did you learn. No one is perfect, I know that. We both know that and if you do not wake up I will be nothing without you,

You are my best friend, you never took work home. You always came to my sporting events.  gave me memories people write country songs about, Please you need to wake up ..."

He sighs loudly

Him: I try to be strong. I know it's what you would do if it was one of us, you would be strong. But it's hard. It's really hard when I see you hopeless in this bed  ... I feel like I'm losing my mind I miss you so much,  you know they say there are five stages of grief--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I think that's bull. I feel emotions that don't fit in a mold. It is like a roaring ocean of sorrow and suddenly a drought and I am overwhelmed with fear. I am terrified. I try not to let you see me cry...fuck you can't see me so I try my best not for you to hear me, I know you can feel it I just wish you can just wake up, I still need your advice about girls...you see I meet someone..."

Me: Omnia " I said turning the phone
Him: what?"
Me: you talking about girls now?"
Him: she hot and I like her a lot ...can I continue talking to my father"

My eyes are wide open But there was more to my momentary shock than just the idea of him dating.
It was sort of the way he said like it was another item on his first year in Matric orientation checklist.

Buy Books.  Sign-up for under 18  Rugby providential tea. Get a car. Learn locker combination. Get Girlfriend.

What was the rush? Why did he think having a girlfriend was some prerequisite for high school social success?
Him: you do know I'm 17 now and I will start having sex "
Me: Omnia ...can this wait, your father is in a hospital bed and you stressing me, can you please hold that thought of sex ...dating just stop everything !!"

He busts out and laughed
Him: bye mom"
Me: Omnia!"
There was too much other stuff going on and this boy is talking about having sex!! Sfiso needs to wake up now!! Hold up did he just call me mom
Me: you said, Mom?"
Him: you screwing my dad so you in titled "
Me: Omnia!!
Ooh God this child is driving me crazy and just made me realize that he may or may not survive the year without sex, if he is not already doing it now,  I’m well aware he could fall head over heels at any time. And have a massive heartbreak, it’s kind of inevitable.

I just wish that when the time comes I want him to be ready, and for me, that means understanding what healthy dating and relationships look like. Hold up if Omnia is talking about Girls that means Alex is dating too I dropped my mouth open and looked at Sfiso
Me: babe please wake up I can't do this alone, our boys need you...please "

In today’s world, there’s a lot of mixed messages for boys and to the girls too about dating, intimacy, and sex. It can be confusing and any parent will want their child to know how to treat their partner, but we also want to make sure our children are treated well too, and that their hearts are protected.

Him: take care of dad... While I try to convince grams not to come there..."
I jumped ooh shoot is he still on the line
Me: what ?"
He shook his head
Him: you worry too much...dad just needed to hear my voice he will wake up now "
I smiled,
Me: promise me you will take care of yourself and behave"
Him: I have to go, My black peal is calling me "
Me: black what ?"
He laughed and dropped the call.
I shook my head laughing,

I heard laughter when I turned I meet Duma
Him: wow ...that kid is too forward I'm sorry to ear drop"
Me: Duma, ...you have no idea"
We share laughter
Him: I came to tell you that Jisha's plane took flight an hour ago"
Me: thank you "
Him: Naah don't mention it, how is he ?"
I shook my head and breath out loud

Me: Just a few days ago we went from being a carefree couple, in love and on a high, to being suddenly thrown into dealing with such a hard situation
Dr tells me that he's stable and he will soon wake up, the sad part about all of this is that I'm not connecting with him the way I should, what a calling I have, I found myself having horrible flashbacks of the incident. I feel disconnected and isolated from everyone because it's difficult for anyone to understand what I'm going through.
I have really negative thoughts and It always triggers tears, I just wish he can just wake up "

Him: Cebo you not alone, Even when you might not feel it, you’ve got the strength to get through this and support...look I can’t imagine how you feel. But I can listen when you need to talk...just Take everything one day at a time. And on the harder days, give me a call ok?"

I smile stood up from my seat and hugged him,
Him: it's going to be ok...he will wake up...have faith"
He whispered in my ear,
Me: thank you...thank you for everything "
I said in his arms,

" WHAT THE FUCK!"

I turned and looked at Sfiso he was awake,  he tried sitting up but he cursed,
Me: Sfiso you awake!! "
I rushed to his side and hugged him,
"He was holding you..."
Me: Sfiso you have been in a coma for almost four days and this is the hallo I get!"
He almost popped his small eyes open
Him: so he has been comforting you for four days!!!..."
I kissed him shutting him up,
Me: shut up! "
He smiled kissed me again he held my ass with his right hand,
Him: hi"
I blushed "Hi"
.
.
To be continued