The Augury

Part 22

[Mka -Makhaye ]

How many families have we seen destroyed by the problem of money? Brother against brother, father against son. This is the first result that this attitude of being attached to money does, it destroys! When a person is attached to money, he destroys himself, he destroys the family... Money destroys period! 

Like a bad omen, It also binds you. while at it with my husband I only sow the positive side it will bring sure we did not start off as serving the cult and doing blood sacrifice it was little things like fraud, embezzlement, stealing land and pension fund money not once we ever thought will end up doing rituals to have more... More... And more extremely more  Money...It led me to destroy my relationships with family and friends but most of my daughter my own flesh and blood.

We joined a church that worked miracles angithi imali iyinsipho iphelela ezandleni we wanted more.
Little did we know we were walking into a cult blood sacrificing church that praise and worship the underworld, Cebo was just a baby then, when she came of age it had to start she was only 13  years,
First, I was nauseated by what her father did to her, then by what I had done or rather, neglected to do, denial, mixed with naiveté about wrong vares right!

If only I was strong enough to stand up on my own but my husband's word was final. I believed him or should I say our pastor who assured me that we only do it once 
" We only want the blood of the broken hymen tissue don't worry we best surgeons to repair her once it's done "

Just the thought of that makes my body cringe but it was the sacrifices we had to do, we desperately wanted the tender, my husband wanted to be town council and desperately wanted to own a few multi-million rand companies, like any other women I wanted to be that women who's well respected lived a luxury life, shopping oversees the works.

But all that glitter was not worth the shine or gold, 
I almost died when  Cebo told me about the months of sexual abuse which lead her to be pregnant a 13-year-old,  impregnated by her father in my house, under my watch what kind of mother have I become? I was more in denial then to surface acceptance of what we dealing with. A greedy monster who will go to whatever extent to get what he wanted regardless of whose expense.

I was disgusted with myself but yet again Being a great mom was so important to me and doing this sacrifice was going to make me excel in doing everything that my baby's heart desire, but looking at what I put my baby trough I was more of a delinquency, I made Cebo vulnerable by allowing a man I knew had no heart have his way with her just for riches.
I failed to protect my little girl.

" for the greater good  For anything worth having one must pay the price and the price always works, patience, love, self-sacrifice no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service...There is no success without sacrifice. If you succeed without sacrifice it is because someone has suffered before you. If you sacrifice without success it is because someone will succeed after"

he will say my greed allowed him to stay after he abused Cebo. Yes, I had been fooled by my husband, but I had also been too hungry for success and after tasting it I did not want to taste anything else I was fooled by greed.

I knew for a fact that Cebo was facing one of the most difficult times in her life, so no matter how I felt about myself and how happy I was swimming in blood money I could not help to feel guilty that it was trough my daughter tears, I had failed her in her childhood and I was desperate to do better but it was too late she had bore two children for that man which he sacrifices for riches and more power. 

I couldn’t let anything I did in an effort to “help” be a way to “make up” for what I’d done, I could never change the past erase what she went through.
I faced the hard feelings I had about myself, but I still hadn’t faced what led to the choices I’d made in the first place. my feelings about myself are in the way of doing what was best for Cebo. To be available to her to protect her no matter what, I can't help but bleed dip inside with my sabotaging thoughts. “Who was I to help her after the damage was done, who was I when I wasn’t there for her as a child?” My guilt crippled me to the core.