Summer with the Pine Twins

Dipper Vs. Manliness: Part 2

Mabel's p.o.v.

I look over at Lazy Susan who was hitting the pie spinner while yelling at it to start spinning. Grunkle Stan starts tapping his fingers on the table and I grab him and look directly at him in the eye. "Grunkle Stan, you are a cranky gross weird old man but we will get Lazy Susan to like you because nothing is stronger than the power of-" "Love?" "Mabel. To victory!" I correct him before downing my salad dressing.

(y/n)'s p.o.v.

I start looking around town for Dipper, just as I was about to start calling out his name I spot him up ahead and I start to walk towards him when he bumps into a lady when a fire hydrant started spraying water and the cops started running around. "Oh, I'm sorry I was looking for the mailman." "Oh what? Are you saying that I'm not a male man? Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not a male? I'm not a man? Is that what you're getting at?"

 "Are you...Crying?" The lady asks before Dipper runs down an alley. Dang it Grunkle Stan, Mabel, you made him cry, great family. I approach the lady, slightly playing with my hair as I tell her "I'm sorry about him he's...Having a bad day..." She nods, telling me it was ok before I once again took after him into the woods. After a while, I find him in a small meadow bench pressing a stick, I stay hidden long enough for him to finish his set.

He looks under his shirt again before sighing and laying on the ground muttering "No chest hair yet...Is it physical? Is it mental? What's the secret?" He pulls out a jerky bag before muttering "You said it, brother..." He looks down and I make myself known asking "Why again do you need chest hair?"

He jolts up in surprise. "(y/n)! W-what are you doing here?" "Making sure you're alright so tell me why do you need chest hair?" I ask again sitting down next to him and he sighs out "So I can be a man," I raise an eyebrow at him "How does having chest hair make you a man?" "It...It just does," I scoff. "Then by that logic do I need to grow hair on my back or something to become a woman? How does that work?"

 "Pfft- haha, what? No," Dipper says, laughing at my joke and I smile at him once again asking "Then I ask once again how does having chest hair make you a man?" "Because then Mabel and Grunkle Stan will stop picking on me..." "Dipper while I do think they went a little too far, they're your family they're gonna pick on you regardless and you'll pick on them in return. You know they don't have the right to say whether you're a man or not, you do. Do you think you're a man?"

"I don't have chest hair so no," I sigh before telling him. "Dipper that's puberty, you'll get chest hair then but that doesn't make a man if you don't feel like one and you want to be one figure out what you need to do to become one in your eyes."

Dipper's p.o.v.

My eyes widen as I look at (y/n), I go to say something when the forest started to shake. Suddenly it seemed as though every animal was running past us, what was going on?! "For the love of all that's holy! Run!" We hear Manly Dan scream as he races past us. I quickly grab my hat and jump out of the way of a falling tree.

We hide behind a trunk as whatever scared the animals stomped to us. We screamed before I corrected my scream to a more manly-sounding one. We were looking at a minitour? He let out a yawn before grabbing a deer to scratch his back before throwing the deer off to the side. He looks directly at us and knocks the log we were hiding behind away. "Please don't eat us! I haven't showered in like a week! And I'm like all elbows and gristle!" I plead he stomped his hoof and pointed at me shouting:

"YOU! Gonna finish that?" I look at the bag of jerky before throwing it at him with a "No," He starts eating the jerky as we watch him in astonishment. "I can't believe it part animal part human...Are you a minitour?" (y/n) asks curiously.

He slams his fist in the ground as he shouts "I'm a manitour! Half man! Half...Uh...Half tour!" (y/n) and I exchange a nervous look. "So did I summon you or...?" "The smell of jerky summoned me! JERKY!" He punches a tree to bits before headbutting a rock to smithereens. He starts sniffing the air and then sniffs (y/n) before sniffing me soon stating "I smell...Emotional issues." "I got problems manitour, man related problems," I tell him and he sits down, patting his knee as a way of saying go on. "Well my own uncle called me a wimp and I kinda flunked this manliness video game thing...Uh hey, you seem pretty manly maybe you could give me some pointers?" I ask hopefully with a smile as he puts on a thinking face.

"Hm, very well, climb atop my back hair children!" "Ok..." We mumble before hesitantly getting on. Manitour starts racing through the forest, bursting through anything in his path. "Dude watch out!" I shout as we head towards a cliff. I let out a scream as he jumps over and smashes through the rock on the other side. I open my eyes to see a man cave filled with manitours. "This place is amazing!" I exclaim as we hop down and look around.

"The gnomes live in the trees, the merpeople live in the water because they're losers! But we manitours crash in the man cave!" Manitour explained before hitting a gong, getting the attention of everyone. "Beasts! I have brought you a hairless child!" He shouts, pushing me upfront and I give a wave with a "Sup?" "This is uh Pubetour, Testasorour, Petutour, and I'm Hitspar, and you are?!" "I'm Dipper," The manitours start booing me. "The destructor...?" They nod in agreement. "Dipper the destructor has come with (y/n) the annihilator and wants us to teach him the secrets to our manliness!"

Author: Ok back to celebrating Comet's birthday!