Summer with the Pine Twins

Dipper Vs. Manliness: Part 5

Dipper's p.o.v.

I walk into the cave and step on a bone, I kneel down and inspect it muttering to myself "What is a multibear?" I hear a low growl and turn around to see it, a bear with over seven heads on its body, so that's a multibear. It lets out another growl when the top head spoke. "Bear heads silence!" When one head didn't comply I watched it slap the one head till it shut up. 

"Child, why have you come here?" It asks me and I glare at it. "Multibear, I seek your head! Or one of them anyway, there's like what six heads?" "This is foolish! Leave now or die!" The multibear warns me before I point my spear at it. "So be it," The heads start to roar at me before the bear charges me and I run up the wall, landing behind, and growling to get their attention, causing them to skid to a stop. They eye a pile of bones and throw them at me as I quickly run to cover. The multibear approached, letting out another roar.

I jump out and yell, one of the heads coming down to bite me. I hop on top of its head and run up to the main head, putting it in a chokehold with my spear, taking the creature down. "A real man shows no mercy!" I shout, pointing my spear at him as he sighs. "Very well warrior but will you grant a magical beast one last request?" "Uh ok..." I say, I  mean he was about to die so I can give him this much.

"I wish to die, listening to my favorite song," He uses his head to gesture towards the radio. "Tape is already in there you can just hit any button. Yeah, yeah, that's it!" I press the play button and a familiar song starts playing. No flippin' way! Disco girl?! My jaw drops as the multibear nods its head along to the beat. I look at the tape holder and ask "You listen to Icelandic Pop Group Baba? I...I love Baba." "I thought I was the only one, all the manitours make fun of me because I know all the words to the song Disco girl."

 "Oh you mean disco girl~" "Coming through~" "That girl is you~" We start singing together, dancing along to the song and I smile as I exclaim "This is crazy, finally someone who understands- oh yeah...I guess I'm supposed to kill you or I'll never be a man." "I accept my fate," What? No! "No...Really?" I ask. "It's for the best..." I look at the spear and the multibear um...

(y/n)'s p.o.v.

I sat on the ledge of the man cave and looked out at the forest, hoping Dipper was ok. I feel the ground beneath me shake as Hitspar sits down next to me. "Annihilator, what's troubling you?" He asks and I sigh. "Dipper's last trial..." "Why? I have full confidence he will conquer the multibear and come back as a man!" He flexes his muscles and I roll my eyes as I stand up. "That's the thing though if the multibear is your guy's enemy why send Dipper to do your dirty work? How does this make him a man?"

 "Because it is the final trial and he will have conquered our enemy-" I cut him off. "But that's your battle, not his! Why does he have to fight your battles to be a man? He already feels like one and in my opinion, he already is!" "That's not how it works Annihilator," I scoff, crossing my arms. "And your way is?" Hitspar goes to say yes but hesitates when I look down to see a figure running towards the cave. "Hey, it's Dipper! He's back!" I point at him as we go into the cave to greet him. I smile to see him carrying no bear head, does that mean he didn't go through with it?

Everyone gives him a confused glance as he hops onto the platform and shoves the spear into it. "I'm not gonna do it!" He declares; yes! "You were told the price of manhood is the multibear's head!" Leaderar points out as the two start glaring at each other. 

"Listen Leaderar," He turns to everyone else. "You too Testasour, Petutuar, and I dunno Beardie," Said manitour nods in confirmation. "You keep telling me that being a man means doing all these tasks and being agro all the time. But I'm starting to think that stuff's malarky!"

Everyone starts muttering in shock and I smile at him as he continues. "You heard me, malarky! So maybe I don't have muscles or hair in certain places and sure when a girly pop song comes on the radio sometimes! I leave it on, cuz dang it top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason, they're catchy!"