Craving him-The Secrets we keep

15-Hospital P.1

I ran into the hospital Elijah was sitting outside in the waiting room. When he saw me, he ran towards me. I'm almost afraid to ask but I do "how is he?"

He looks at me like if he says the wrong thing I'll fall into a depression or something like that. "Arielle" he touches my shoulders and I can tell he's not good "Blaine is in a coma"

And like that, my world fell apart. It felt like my lungs were filling with water and I couldn't breathe. How am I supposed to breathe if he's not here with me?.

It's feels like my world collapsed on top of me. This feels wrong in so many ways this isn't how we were supposed to be. I shouldn't have gotten Jealous that I was bad of me now I may never hear him say anything to me ever again.

A nurse comes up to us and takes all of us into a private room. She looks up at us and I can tell he's bad "so when Blaine swerved and crashed his car, there were no signs of him pressing the brake".

I can't do this, I can't be here Blaine wanted to kill himself and now we're in a hospital where he's fighting for his life. I can't believe he wanted to kill himself.

I ask her, "can I see him?". She nods his head and takes me down the hallway. I look into all the hospitals room watching people of all ages getting shots and check ups. Until we finally got to Blaine's room.

I looked at him from afar he looks dead almost lifeless laying there. He's hair is a mess the first time I seen it that way. I realize they took out his nose Piercings out. He looks like a normal person without his piercing and his tattoos covered.

Finally I get the courage to walk up next to him. I walk up to the bed and held his hand. The nurse walked out and gave us privacy.

I leaned in and play with his hair whispered into his ear "Blaine please wake up please don't leave me. I need you Blaine. What am I supposed to do without you?".

He stare at him hoping he'll wake up. He doesn't even move an inch. I start to break down and drop to the floor sobbing. Riley runs up into the room and picks me up from the floor and sits me next to Blaine.

"This isn't your fault Arielle he didn't this do this because of you" she tried to calm me down.

"This is my fault we got into a fight and he left Angry at me, now he could die Riley" I can't breathe just thinking about this has taken all my air from my lungs. I hear Riley patting my back and yelling for help.

A group of nurses come into the room they say "Breathe. Breathe Arielle" along with Riley there all worried about me. I start to breathe in and out I feel the air in my lungs. It was like my lungs were trying to get the little bit of air and I was close to falling asleep.

I sit down in and chair and stare at the floor. I hear Riley calling someone on the phone I already know who's she talking to.

Before I knew it Anthony was bursting into the hospital room. He knees in front of me "it's going to be okay Arielle" he gives a little pretend smile, I could see right through it.

I stand up and snapped "nun of this is okay Blaine is in the hospital because he decided to swerve and not to hit the brakes and it's all my fault" I start to pace the room, I'm panicking.

"No one blames you for this, it was a accident. If Blaine decide to want to kill him self it's not on you it's on him" he tries to make me feel better, But nothing could make me feel better in this moment.

I just give him a look. He starts "look...I don't think him doing this was for you. I mean Blaine would never I mean ever let you be hurting over him like this. He was going through a lot of pain and suffering that he didn't tell anyone about. It wasn't your fault, I think we should have been better friends and girl friends".

He's right Blaine did have a lot of demons I thought if I made his demons mine it would be better for him. Could he been drowning the whole time and I didn't notice? How dumb could be to not notice? I hit myself in the head. I think I have been so wrapped up in myself that I didn't realized it.

He repeats in a soft voice "it isn't your fault he tried to kill himself everyone has this demons" and he hugs me. It made me feel better just a little bit, because he's right everyone had their demons.

I didn't notice when I fell asleep somehow I ended up falling  into a dreamless sleep, I look around to see Riley sitting next to me asleep and Anthony on the other side of Blaine's bed talking to him.

He takes Blaine hand "I shouldn't have been so on you about dating my sister I was just angry at you. My sister is important to me, she's my little sister I'm always going to protect her against anyone who tries to take her heart and I know you love her and want to protect her just as much as I do and I thank you for caring about her so much".

I don't say anything and pretend I was asleep. He continues to talk "I shouldn't have gotten mad at you and I regret it now. We spent so much time arguing about Arielle that we lost sight at what's most important. Our friendship and  You make her happy and I should have let you guys be happy. I hadn't seen her smile on the longest time since our mom died and I don't think if you die she won't survive it. Also we're brothers we're not supposed to be fighting we were brothers before we found out we were biologically brothers I would like to be brothers again.She needs you we both do".

I wake up and he jumps back. "Are you okay Arielle?" He asks.

I get up and walk to his side and smile "I'm as okay as I could be. But I swear I doing better than I was especially now that your here".

He gives me hesitant smile "listen Arielle I'm so-" he starts to apologize.

"No, don't apologize Anthony you were trying to be protective even if you went about it the wrong way".

"I will always protect you Arielle" I gave him a little smile.

I ask him "do you want to sneak into the cafeteria to get coffee?".

"Yeah" I respond.

We walk to the cafeteria and get coffee from the kitchen. We sit on one of the bench and talk "do you think he's going to make it through?" I ask Anthony.

"I have to believe he can awake up, he's my best friend if he dies than, a piece of me dies too".

"You said that about mom and your survived. You can live through this Arielle your strong enough".

I know he doesn't believe that he's watching me like at any second I'm going to break down.

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Just want to say that if you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts you can always text me I will always be here. Please seek help your life matters🦋.

Suicide prevention hotline- 1-800-273- 8255