Craving him-The Secrets we keep

37- June

Blaine

Sorry it's so short !

It's been about 1 month without Arielle. My dad pushing that Madeline and I should get married even though we been dating for like 2 months.

I kiss her , let her stay in my bed and lead her to believe that I am happy with her but I am not. I miss Arielle with every bone in my body, I imagine our kiss every time I close my eyes.

Madeline walks into my room in a towel from the bathroom I sit up in the corners of the bed. "I think getting married is the best thing" she hits on my lap and wraps her hands around my neck.

I look up into her eyes. "You do love me right?" she asked.

All I could see is my dads eyes preying on me telling me to do whatever I have to do to make sure we stay together. I smiled and ran my fingers on her cheek. "Yes I love you".

I remind myself every day that I am doing this for Arielle.

She walks into the closet and I take a deep breath out. I laid back down on the bed as she got dressed. I wondered about Arielle, I heard from Anna that she's been hanging out with Oliver more often and that he plans to move with her to Rhode Island.

I hate the idea of him having him the way that I have her. Had her. I remind myself I had everything I wanted and I lost it. If anything I'm glad she's with Oliver he could give her that life I never could.

Madeline snaps her fingers in my face "Are you even listening?"

"Oh sorry" I said.

"What do you think about this sun dress?" She spins around it. To reveal that she wasn't wearing anything under it. It's a white dress with red roses all over it.

"It's beautiful just like you" I state and she kisses me on lips.

"I'm going out with the girls tonight. I hope you take into account what your dad said about marriage. It's time" and she rushed out.

I pull out my phone now that she's gone. I know staking someone's instagram is wrong but I can't help it.

The first picture that pops up is a picture of Riley, Oliver, Arielle and Anthony on the beach. Oliver has his arm around Arielle and Arielle is kissing him on the lips. Riley and Anthony are what seems like tickling each other.

Why am I jealous of Oliver and Arielle it's what I wanted right?. I pressed on all the couple pictures of Oliver and her. I slam the phone on the floor.

Anna walks in and rushes over to me. "Are you okay?".

I push her away and screamed. "Leave me the fuck alone Anna".

"So now that Arielle gone your going to act like a dick again" she screamed.

"Listen mind your own business Anna. You don't know what your talking about I always been like this"
"Not when your with Arielle she brings out the softness in you. I can't believe you gave in to our father stupid conditions".

I stood up taller than her and yelled . "Everything I did was to keep her safe. Don't you think I wish I could be in her arms right now but it's not safe for her."

She throws her hands around me. She mumbles into my chest. "I know that you think that you did the right thing and but hurry up get back together with Arielle. I get that you think your protecting her, but this isn't  protecting her."

"MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!" I snap.

She silently walks out of the room. I flop down on the bed and placed the pillow on my face. I scream into the pillow "how did my life get so fucking messed up? I fucking hate it".

Someone knocks on the door to my surprise it's Riley. I stand up in front of her towering over her as I usually do.

"I didn't come here to yell at you like Anthony possibly did. I came to tell you that I get why you did what to did with Arielle. She would be a lot safer without you then with you. But that doesn't mean I agree with you breaking up with her. I know what it's like living with rich parents who can do unspeakable thing to people. So I came here to tell you that I understand why you had to do it but I letting her go without a fight will be your biggest mistake you ever make".

She walks out before I could respond. She took me by surprise I never expected her out of everyone to come here to talk to me.

I decided to take a drive in my car. I found myself near the place where Arielle got her piercing on her nose and then belly when she was mad at me. I smiled at the memory it replays in my mind all the time. A sat there for a minute.

She had the biggest smile on her face but I could tell she was really nervous. She held my hand as she sat on the chair. She squeezed my hand as soon as the needle went in.

Then I drive to place where Elle and I danced at Valentine's Day ball where she wore the tight  black dress. I wanted to rip it off of her as soon as I seen her in it. It made her look incredible hot and she was mine.

When she said "you don't make the world better by getting revenge on the people who wronged you. You get your life right and show them that your better than them because She was. She had morals and kindness and Elijah couldn't say that".

It gives me hope that one day I'll be out of his thumb and maybe I'll be back together with Arielle. I know it will only be in my dreams, I'll never be out of my father's thumb and it's ridiculous to think I could.