just one day

73.

sorry for the confusion. ALMOST SPOILED THE GOODS by uploading a different chapter lol.

-

The ride back to the hospital was rode in silent, neither one of us said anything to each other. I looked outside the window almost the entire of the ride, refusing to face him after his sudden confession.

Sudden was a wrong choice of words, I mean it was expected but not this soon. Thinking about it right now just sent chills up and down my spine, I remember being close to opening up to him, but I refuse to do that.

I mean what exactly did he think I was going to say after that. Sometimes I question if men were always this dumb or did god make this way on purpose because he knew woman were the superior.

I was pulled out my thoughts when I realize we had finally turned down the street of the hospital's entrance. Yoongi pulled into the car pool of the entrance, I began taking off my seat belt preparing myself to get out of the car before stopping the car and turning to me.

He finally says something within the hour we've been in this car together.

"D-did you mean it?"

Mean it? Oh god. What the freak did I say?

"Mean what?" I ask him turning to face him, but not looking at him, he gulps before answering my question.

"You said you forgive me... did you mean it? Is that true?" He asks me and I could hear it in his voice how that was probably all he wanted.

All these years, trying to get my forgiveness after he hurt me. That's what I'm being told, that's all he's been trying to do since my arrival back here, and the truth was... I don't know if I could.

I would be a bad person if I sat here and lied to him, just out of pity due to now knowing what happened to his mother after I left.

That question was complicated just like our past, because when I think I do, he does something to show me he doesn't deserve my forgiveness. Earlier today would be a good example of that, him saying that and then kissing me in front of everyone.

But there are times when I don't thin kits a matter of forgiving him, it's a matter of whether I forgive him enough to trust him. Besides a lot of time has past between the two of us, six years can change a person. I can't sit here and pretend as if I wish things weren't like this but they are.

I just disliked everyone expecting me to be the to forgive him, to forget about what happened in the past. Like my mom, there were things I wanted to say when I had gotten to see her again, those were not it. She just upset me because instead of siding with her daughter, she did the same thing she did six years ago.

Why should I be the one to do anything when I am the victim. Both of us have done things that we should've never done, and said things that I'm sure we regretted on saying but that doesn't change the fact that we both are two broken individuals that just need to heal. And I don't think it's smart to try and heal around the one that hurt us.

"Would you forgive me?" I ask him.

This question was something I wanted to ask him for the longest. If he were me, would he forgive me? Would he be able to put it behind him?

He hesitates to find the words to say causing me tp sigh, I make eye contact with him. "Forgiveness is easy, Yoongi.." I pause looking at him.

He watches me as I struggle to hide my true feelings, "I can sit here and tell you I forgive you and it wouldn't change a thing because when comes down to it, I still won't be able to trust you" I let him know.