just one day

43.

"Can we do this when we get to his house, just get in the car" I tell my mother who at this point was already to upset to even listen to me.

"Mom, please calm down" I beg of her as she paced back and forth across the side walk.

this was the after math of telling her I was pregnant, it wasn't long before she wanted the car to stop so she could get out.

I turn backed looking at a concerned and worried Yoongi.

"Calm down? Calm down? Maya, you're pregnant for god sakes!" She raises her voice at me causing me to sigh once again.

I know.

"You know when I said your grown I didn't mean like this. I meant grown enough to be on your own, not get knocked up!" She raises her voice.

She wouldn't give me a chance to speak.

"Pregnant. You are 21. What happened to going to college and just wanting to be a singer?" She asks me.

"That was the plan.. then a lot happened" I try to reason with her.

"Yeah. You forgot that you can't just go doing whatever you want. You were supposed to go to school, work and live life... your young life while you still could but now your pregnant" she points out again.

"Ma"
"Don't ma me. How many times did I tell you? God, I- I don't even know what to say" she says causing me to sigh.

"I mean was it because I was away for so long? This is all my fault isn't it?" She asks doing way too much now.

"No. It's not, okay" I assure her.

"Your damn right it's not. It's his!" She says pointing at Yoongi who avoiding making eye contact with us.

"It's his and your fault" she says the obvious.

"I- she cuts me off pissing me off more and more. "You're too young to even take care of yourself? How are you going to raise a baby?" She asks and I just snap.

"I DONT KNOW!" I raised my voice causing her to stop and look at me.
I sigh running my fingers throughout my head trying to control my emotions, "I-I don't know, okay" I say.

"You don't know?" She asks.

"You think I don't I know that it's my fault? It wasn't like he forced me, ma" I spat.

"A-and I also wasn't asking for your permission. I only told you because I have no clue on the first thing it takes to be a mother... but that's why I need you. To be understanding and supportive", I pause controlling my breathing.

"So yes, I don't know.. I don't know what im doing, at all. Okay. And I'm trying so hard not to just break down and scream about it because that's all I do" I pause.

I turn back to Yoongi, before turning back to my mother. I exhale, "you're right, I'm sorry. I-i just don't you want to live the same life I did, maya" she says.

"I know, and I won't. Because whether you believe it or not, I'm not like you mom. It's my life, and my decisions" I tell her seriously.

"But— I cut her off, "I know you just want to protect me, but" I pause slowly looking back at Yoongi making eye contact with him.

"I have all the protection I need. All I need for you is to be there for me, thats it" I say.

She looks around to avoid making eye contact with me.

"You said there's more. Whats more?" She asks. I sigh not wanting to discuss this conversation on the side of the road.

"Whether you believe this or not, me being pregnant with his child... is going to be the least of your worries. There's other things that happened, that shouldn't have but did" I tell her.