Paradise (MikaYuu)

24

I've had a double ear infection since Tuesday night and I am 🤏 this close to pulling a Van Gogh. Luckily, it's gone down enough to the point where I can actually focus so here's your chapter sinners.
...

(Yuu)

Mika rolled over and grabbed his phone, something seemed to surprise him as he turned it on and I thought I was done for, but he merely sighed and threw his arms over my shoulders, groaning into my chest, "The one time I'm actually trying to sleep."

So it was the right number.

"What did they want?" I asked.

"Some work stuff, Crowley - the club owner - is finally cleaning up like I asked him to a few weeks ago and we're deciding on what furniture to auction off after we deep cleaning it." He leaned back and stared up at me.

"Do you not have separate phone for work and personal?" I knew some business owners did, and with Mikaela's standing, I'd be shocked if he didn't.

"No, I do. I just gave him my personal number so I could keep better tabs. My work phone is in my jacket," his blue eyes remained staring  up at me, the light from the phone making them appear as fluorescent as the day I met him, "it's not that weird for me to get shit like this this late, I'm usually up for a while."

I was way too lost in his eyes to care about the thought he may be lying to me, "That's not good for your health, you need to start sleeping more."

"I have a much easier time sleeping when I know you're safe in my arms," his lips quirked at the sides, "maybe you should just come live with me."

I bust out laughing, "And leave Yoichi to pay the rent? I don't think so. He'd die within the week."

"Mmm, but my insomnia might kill me," Mika decided being curled around me wasn't enough, and decided to instead pull me flat on top of him, "I know this position is kind of pushing your no-touching zones, if you're uncomfortable, you can move whenever you want, ok?" He smiled.

I felt all my tension from earlier melt away when Mika's hand slipped under my shirt and he began began run his fingers up and down my spine, "Ok."

"You're so pretty," Mikaela whispered, "I want to keep you like this forever; perfect."

"You're drop dead gorgeous," I burrowed my head into the crevice of his neck, "nearly fluorescent blue eyes, sunshine hair, perfect skin, successful. The list goes on and on. You're crazy for picking me, anyone could see that I can't offer you much."

Mika held back a laugh, "They'd all be wrong," He was starting to sound tired again, and a yawn followed shortly after, "damn, you're really curing my chronic insomnia just by being around. Not even my meds could do that."

I laughed a little, this felt nice, safe. I was beginning to question the things I'd seen, I was known to have some trust issues, understandably so, so it was possible I was jumping to conclusions. People had been putting ideas in my head about him since before we even started dating, I was just overreacting. I had to be. Mika made me feel comfortable, and at that moment it was enough for me.

...

(Mika)

I stared up at the ceiling, the love of my life was right where he should be: in my arms. His breath was even and deep. In any other situation it would be comforting, but I didn't have the emotional capacity for comfort at the moment. I didn't know what I was feeling. Anger? Sadness? I think the best choice of words were fed up and agitated.

It was happening again.

History was repeating itself. At this rate it would be sooner rather than later that he wound try to leave me. He promised me this. I've been working so hard not to fuck up. I'd been so careful and Lacus just fucked me over.

I knew he had seen it. The notifications for those texts weren't there and my phone was warm, it was the only explanation.

"I'm not letting you go, angel," I tightened my arms around Yuu possessively, he was mine, I had every right to be possessive, "I caged you before, I'll do it again. This time will be better though," I started to gently stroke his hair, "I won't show mercy to anyone but you. I won't let you get hurt this time."

I needed to either figure out how to pass off all my lies or start taking care of people. What I couldn't grasp is why he doesn't call me out when he knows. Why does he just cuddle into my chest and pretend he saw nothing?

Yuu wasn't like that normally, there must've been a damn good reason.

My only conclusion was that he was doubting himself. Which was very good for me as someone so utterly obsessed with him, but very very bad for me as his boyfriend. I wanted him to be sure of and in himself. I didn't want him to feel guilty about his feeling. I know how badly the world fucked him up, all the ugly things he's been through. But I thought he was beautiful, and he was. Every inch of him, physically and mentally, was absolutely gorgeous.

I would never put myself at risk like this if I didn't think he was worth it. Yuu was more than worth it. I would give anything to hold him in my arms like that forever.

I clutched his T-shirt so right my knuckles turned white, I wanted to punch something after remembering how last times 'love story' ended. Things were going to be better this time. I just needed to get my shit together, take a step back and figure out where to go from here.

Taking a step back also meant I would need to cut back on romanticizing Yuu, which was not something I could easily do even if I had it in me to actually follow through. He would get more suspicious and that would defeat the whole purpose. It could also upset him and that idea seemed to hurt worse. The thought of him crying over me was... euphoric... but now was not the time. I could make him cry in other ways if I really wanted to see it.

Part of me wanted to treat him right, cuddle up and gently kiss his forehead. But another part of me really wanted to hear him whine, see the tears leave tracks on his face, see pink rimmed puffy eyes staring up at me, leave bruises and marks all over him to let people know who he belonged to. But I don't think he wanted that kind of relationship, and I respected that. I cared about too much to try and force that when I know how unhappy it would make him.

There was one option I could think of that would allow a step back with zero chance of suspicion: breaking up. But it would hurt him. I didn't want him crying over me in that way. But it seemed to genuinely be the best choice for the time being. I would say it worked well last time but that would just be a lie. It served its purpose and then I got murdered.

I balled up his shirt tighter in my fist and it didn't go unnoticed as Yuu hummed underneath me, slowly pushing himself up on his hands, "Mika? Why are you still awake?" He collapsed back down onto me gracelessly, slipping his arms under mine and burrowing his face in the crevice of my neck, "we still have time."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," something was bubbling just under the surface, but feeling his lips just barely brush against my neck put the lid on it real quick, I entangled my fingers in his hair, "just thinking."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Yuu yawned.

"No, I'm ok." I leaned onto his head, he was so warm.

"Mmm, you're adorable." He chuckled lightly.

"You're gorgeous." I traced a line down his back and was filled with joy at the tremble he gave off.

"Mmhm," Yuu was so vulnerable, and I was the one that got to see it. Only me, "you know it."

"You wanna go back to bed for a little?" I asked.

"Yep." Yuu practically whispered out. He was out once again within the minute and I decided that it was ok to join him for a few more minutes.

Taking a step back without hurting him may have actually including taking a few strides forward. Some things needed to be sped up and handled before Yuu could get to them. If he knew that I was possibly lying, he knew that Asher was possibly lying about the same thing. And as of right now, he could only assume that one other person knew. Even if the thought didn't cross his mind, I wouldn't take that risk. Tomorrow, I'm putting that damn dog down.