Paradise (MikaYuu)

51

(Mika)

Staring down at the lump of covers, I found myself hesitant. I knew once he woke up he would lash the fuck out at me. I was so exhausted and running on fumes. I didn't have the energy to spare on one of his hissy fits, but at the same time it was my responsibility to take care of him.

My emotions were flip-flopping back and forth and so was my confidence level. I may have hated him a few hours ago and said some very ballsy things, but now I was just so starstruck and my assertiveness with him would be lacking at best, "Ah, jävla helvete, I need a day off." I whispered, I may not have known much Swedish, but I sure as fuck knew how to swear when I was stressed.

"Lovey," I shook him gently, "it's getting pretty late. Do you wanna come eat?"

He turned, sliding my hand off him, I should've figured that once he was comfortably out for the first time since he got here, he'd be dead tired.

"Sweetheart," I went under the covers and pulled him closer to me by his chest, "Can you wake up for a few minutes to eat?"

"...mm-mm." He shook his head no.

"You're tired, baby, aren't you?" I asked, gently setting my cheek on the top of his head.

"Phone?" he murmured. Ah shiiiiiiit.

"It's downstairs, love." I answered. I really needed to go through it before I gave it back to him.

He seemed to fall back into his slump, I took the opportunity to be close to him, probably wouldn't be able to do anything like this for a while.

I was twirling a piece of his hair around my finger when I felt his entire body go rigid, "What, on gods green earth, are you doing in the same room as me?"

Oh shit.

"Good evening." I said.

He looked at me with an expression that was beyond enraged, and what I said to him had apparently only made him angrier as his fist collided with my nose almost immediately after I said that, "Fucking test me. With your condescending woe is me bullshit."

He was across the room by the time my attention drew off of my nose, "What the fuck?"

"Yeah, you really thought you were special, huh? Some main character shit. Fuck you, Mikaela, I'm no dandelion. World star, baby!" He hit his arm twice in an enthusiastic manner.

"Are you high?" I asked him.

"Are you?!? You must be out of your god damn mind to pull some shit lurk that!" He hollered.

"Sweetheart, I really don't think you want me to fight you back." I assured him.

He scoffed, "You're literally the most egotistical asshole I've ever met, and yet you're so bitch made."

Should I just take him down? It seems like he's having an adrenaline rush it something. I really don't want to actually hurt him. He can insult me all he wants, I'm just worried about it getting overly physical.

"I'm sorry, my love." I apologized.

"Ew, fuck off. Either get the fuck out, or get rocked again. Mika, if you wanna have all this control over me, at LEAST be better than me." He gestured sarcastically.

"I could never be better than you, you're absolutely perfect." I had the feeling I really should be leaving soon.

"Oh my god, you're such a whiney bitch." He was gonna go in for another hit and I figured this was a good time to shut it down.

"Ah, I can see today is not the day we'll be making up." I smiled at him before I landed a pretty good punch if I do say so myself.

I can't really say that I enjoyed trying to hurt my partner, but he certainly did, so at least he's happy. He got more overall hits on me, and honestly fucked me up pretty good, wouldn't be able to tell which one of us was the abusive one if someone saw us, but I prevailed in the end, after more than a few cheap shots, but he bit me so I don't feel too bad.

"Will you calm down?!" I shouted at him once I had him pinned down.

"Oh baby, you're gonna hurt your throat." He mocked me, "Shut the fuck up! I'll calm down when you're the hell away from me!" He somehow found the strength to slam his head back hard enough to knock me back.

"Oh my god! This is unreal! I'll leave!" I caved.

"Damn right you'll leave! Was that so hard?!" He shouted.

"I win in the end anyways, because I still have you." I slipped in one last flirt.

"Nasty," He pretended to barf, "you can barely handle me, fuck you mean you have me?"

"I'm sorry, just-"

"I don't care, leave me alone." Yuu interrupted.

"I'm gonna whoop your ass." I mumbled under my breath as I left the room.

I picked Yuu's phone up off the table, I knew the password, obviously. How would I manage to be the creepy stalker psychopath of his dreams if I didn't know his passwords? Make it make sense, people.

I immediately went into text messages and deleted more than a few unread texts, I had secrets to hide, I would be fucked if he saw this. As I scrolled through more and more I realized how bad of an idea it would be to give him back his phone, if I block or delete important contacts, he'll notice, but if I let him talk to these people, then I'm fucked.

"Ah, fuck, he's gonna be really pissed off," I sighed, "buuuut not as pissed off as he'd be if he found out. Shit, does he know his parents number by heart?" I'd been dealing with calls to my phone about Yuu, Kureto knows he's with me, and that's enough to silence police reports.

Before thinking about how I was going to destroy his phone, I decided to look through his pictures. I started from the top, just to see how he'd progressed. The beginning pictures were a completely different Yuu, he must've had pictures on that thing from up to 6 years ago. I saw the progress of his tattoo, a loooooot of parties which seemed to always include some kind of drugs or alcohol, I saw his time working at the mental hospital, his time spent working at home, him moving in with Yoichi, pictures of Guren and Shinya, pictures of his friend group all together, and much more. Towards the end of the photos I saw some pictures of my building, hickeys, still a surprising amount of drugs but much less alcohol, and pictures of me I don't even remember being taken.

"Wow, I'm really photogenic." I smiled to myself.

After I sent a few... less decent... photos as well as the photos of me and him to my own phone, I dropped the phone in the drain, and flicked on the garbage disposal.

"What was that?!" Yuu called from upstairs.

"Nothing, I'm just being dumb." I replied in a sing-song voice.

He didn't respond, not even a snarky agreement, nothing. That was something I was going to have to get used to. Yuu was actually pretty similar to how he was back then when he's having fun, but his reactions to what he views as life or death situations is much more mature now, that's where you can really see the adult in him. He's not going to sit here and make jokes with me before flipping out, he either won't talk to me, or he does anything he can to make sure I'm away from him.

I kept asking him if he thought he could take me if he really needed to, and it seems like he took it seriously. I'm confident in saying that he can beat me when he's in panic mode while I'm pretty leveled out. It would take a lot for me to be in that kind of mindset.

"I guess I should start cleaning up Asher's room, I'm gonna be sleeping there for god knows how long." I rubbed my eyes a little, my head was pounding and I just really didn't know what else I could do for today. I would sleep on the couch to save me some hassle, but I'm not beyond thinking that Yuu might try to take me out if I'm vulnerable.

Oh how I love our toxic relationship, too bad I had just come to realize this was the beginning of the end.