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(Yuu)

Mika and I had decided I would stay at his house again tonight. But that didn't mean we couldn't do something fun. He was the boss, after all, no one would press him too hard if he came in late.

I found myself again at Crowley's club. It was a lot more empty than before, Mikaela said it was because of bidding off furniture before renovations. The place was still packed and the alcohol was still potent, there were just less places for people to sit.

The music was louder than ever, but that didn't bother me so much anymore. I felt so disconnected from my body that there wasn't a lot that could bother me in the physical world. Everything that could scare me was locked in the depths of my mind where the memories of my darkest moments played on loop. It was best to just ignore them. But the world seemed so much different when everything in your head was straight from hell.

I would say it was a conflict between my mind and body but that wasn't even remotely true. I felt like I was on auto pilot and the only thing I cared about was getting as high as possible, and I was doing just that.

Some nice sketchy man in the bathroom offered me some tasteless tablets that were definitely starting to take effect. Everything was much more colorful and swirly. Definitely an upgrade from the usual shit hole of my life. I knew better than to try these things too many times. I did not want to end up like Ray did. His addiction was a nasty sight and my own experiences with alcoholism already fucked me up. One thing that I learned from both of those is that you never get over addiction. Everyday you have to fight against the urge to go back to it. I probably would've been better off if I chose sobriety but I was young enough that I thought I could moderate myself out over the years. I wasn't as inclined to drink my ass off, but the thought was always there.

"Yuu!" Mikaela came barreling out from the crowd. Everything looked a lot slower than usual but it was kind of cool.

"Hmm?" I questioned as I sipped my drink.

"Ok, so, I came here with the thought of doing some work, right? Right. And then my hand was fucking murdering me so Crowley gave me some bullshit pain killer and I don't think I was supposed to mix it with alcohol. But it's fine, because I feel fucktas- fa- fucking tas- FUCK! ...FUCKING. ... FAN... TASTIC." He was mixing his words up and was using his hands to talk more than he ever has.

"Wow, that's pretty lit." I was distracted by the slow pace of everything around me, I was glad Crowley still had the bar stools, because if I was standing while this was taking affect I would've fallen flat on my face and probably just stayed there.

"Baby, are you ok? You seem really really really tired. You're much less gudg- hud- j u d g e y than usual." He practically threw himself onto the stool and tapped his good hand against the table like crazy.

"Yeah, I'm great. You're a lot less composed than usual, are you good?" I asked. His hair was so... yellow. It wasn't usually this yellow, it looked like a banana and that thought made me hungry.

"I'm actually feeling really great I just have a lot more energy and every fuck I had just," he spread his hands apart, "poof. Gone. No more."

"That's nice dear. You're not too drunk to drive back, right?" I asked.

"No, no, I barely had like anything to drink but you're definitely not gonna like my driving I'm feeling really just, like," Mika paused for a moment, he looked like he was buffering, "I forgot."

"Oh, cool, cool," I stared at him, taking in all the colors and shapes, "you're pretty."

"I know," he chuckled before picking me up with ease and sitting me into his lap, the movement felt like a wave hitting my body, "too bad I'm nuts." He was probably joking. I don't know. My brain was practically fried and his humor was trash.

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