Paradise (MikaYuu)

40

Guess who has Covid
...

(Yuu)

Mika woke up around noon to find me still squished underneath him, "Oh, fuck. That was real."

"Yeah." I snapped a little.

He shamefully slinked off of me and wouldn't meet my eyes, "I'm sorry."

Fuck off.

"Whatever," I sighed, "you were just tired. You were acting a lot more feral than usual."

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that." He sulked.

Yep, I hate this version more. At least he used to take full on responsibility.

"Whatever," I got up and made my way out of the bedroom, "I'm making omelettes."

"...ok."
...

All throughout breakfast he wouldn't speak a word to me. I was so tired of him trying to gain my sympathy. All this was doing was pissing me off, "Will you at least fucking look at me? How do you expect to have a conversation after this when you can barely sit in the same room as me. You're not getting out of this talk, knock it off."

His bright blue eyes finally looked in my direction. But of course, since it was Mikaela, he took it from one extreme to another and now kept his gaze firmly set on me. Either he was blinking at the exact same time as me or he was not blinking.

"Ok, that's a start. Now try saying words." I said slowly.

"Va te faire foutre, j'ai le droit de bouder." (French: "Fuck off, I'm allowed to sulk.") he crossed his arms.

Ah, yes. The beauty of getting my memories back and being able to remember all the things Asher and I did much later in life. We did so much, we would go on nice walks through the park, take vacations, learn French.

I felt my eye twitch ever so slightly, "Mika, you see this fork?" I asked as I picked it up and began looking it over, "Talk to me in a language I can understand or I will shove it so far up your-"

"Jesus, and I thought I was the violent one." He put his hands up.

"You had a little outburst last night. I'll admit I wasn't totally innocent in that situation, but what the hell was that? You completely changed. Don't even try to say it's how you treat other people. I doubt you're that reckless around everyone else. You just gave zero fucks about all the things you've been so meticulous about: forced voice tones, placed body language, maintaining your composure. Your emotions were undeniably raw and I have never seen that from you, ever." I stressed.

"I was just tired, Yuu. I wasn't really worried about all that stuff. It's exhausting to constantly act like something I'm not," he shrugged, "I'm much more interested in what my mother and Asher had to say about me."

"Well they both basically told me that if I stay any longer, I'll find myself in a shallow grave. And despite your insistent pleas otherwise, I'm not a special case and am in fact going through a very similar situation to most of your exes. Asher added quite a few things that paint you as a monster beyond imagination while your mother made excuses for why she let you be the world's problem," I picked up my plate and moved it to the sink, "so what are your thoughts on that?"

"Well, they're right about the similarities and my mother is fabulous at making excuses for why she barely raised me but they're wrong about you not being special. You're not just a random person and you know that." He said.

"Oh, actually, every person I've talked to about our relationship that knows you personally has insisted that I'm going to meet my maker sooner rather than later." I put on an overly fake smile.

"Well then. I don't really know what to say to that. If it makes you feel any better I have no plans to kill you." He smiled right back.

"Maybe we should talk about your childhood." I suggested.

"I would love to, truly. But unfortunately I barely remember it. I only remember some very specific things and how I felt, and what I felt was a crippling sense of inferiority, hatred for my father, abandonment from my mother, frustration, and loneliness. I was never really all that sad or scared through, at least not what from what I can remember. I wasn't great but I also wasn't terrible." He shrugged.

"I'm not really shocked you don't remember it, when things are too damaging sometimes your brain protects itself by forgetting. I know I've certainly forgotten some things." I assured him.

"Yuu, I want to make this work. I really really do. I'm willing to do whatever you want, jump through whatever hoops you set up, do whatever 12 step program, try to find some new meaning in life," He picked at his food, "I'm not fully capable of showing you how serious I am about this, but I am serious about you, about us. Whatever I- whatever we need to do to make this work, I'll do it."

"I'm glad to hear that." I said.

"I do have a question though." He chirped up.

"Go ahead." I leaned back in my chair.

"Are you hiding Asher from me, Yuu?" Mikaela's eyes pierced me. If I wasn't going through such a surreal case of depersonalization, I might've been scared.

"Yes, I am," I responded, "do you think I'm wrong for doing so?"

"No. I'm just pleasantly surprised that you were a step ahead of me." He smirked.

"It's not a game, Mikaela." I reminded him.

"I know. It's just been a while since someone got ahead of me," He smiled, "what are you gonna do with your last hour of work now that your most frequent patient is gone?"

"Depends, am I still gonna get paid for that hour?" I asked.

"Yes, as long as you're there, obviously." Mikaela responded.

"Well, then I am going to sit there and play on my phone. Don't tell my boss though, he'd flip." I chuckled.

"No, he's just make sure to annoy you for the entire hour." Mikaela finally started to eat.

"Fuck, anything but that." I joked.

"Can't escape it now, he knows your plans. He always knows." Mikaela continued.

"He seems almost too good at knowing. If I didn't know any better I'd say there's a spy among our ranks." I shot him a suspicious look.

"What? Me? No, no, no, baby. Come on, it's me. You know me. I could never - I could never betray you like that," He held his hands up in defense, "but I will say, my hallucinated neighbor Oliver has been awfully quiet."

"This is not even remotely funny, but it's a nice change from the stiff talks we've been having." I reached across the tackle to grab his good hand.

"Yeah, it really is." He squeezed gently.

Too easy. He's plotting something. He must be. He always is.