save [joshler]

end this

Tyler's pov
**tw**

I haven't told Brendon about what happened at the mall. I know if he finds out through someone else and not me he'll be so much more angry. But I also know, I'll get hurt and so will Joshua. I don't care how many fights that man has been in, Brendon will always win.

It's been a few days since it happened, since the fiasco at the mall. I hope he knows I'm not mad at him. It was nice, actually. I enjoyed it, my hand hasn't been held in so long. I just...I can't let myself become attached like that. I can't let myself think about that red haired man and how nice he is. How soft and smooth and calming his voice is. How easy it is to talk to him, or how comfortable I feel around him. I can't let myself feel for him the way I should for Brendon.

Whatever. It's Monday and I'm cleaning the house. I figured out my schedule and I realized how messy my life actually is. Like, holy shit, I'm actually in an abusive relationship. I'm living most peoples worst fears. I get raped by the one who's supposed to love me. I get punched and kicked by the one who's supposed to protect me. And there's no way out of it.

There's one way, actually.

"Tyler?" Mom called.

Mom? What is she doing here? Oh fuck, I'm not wearing a shirt! She's gonna see everything!

"Mom? What're you doing here?" I asked, looking for her.

"Oh I just wanted to talk! Put on a shirt, I can see your bruises." She said.

"W-what?"

She walked into the living room and sat on the couch. "This place is disgusting. Maybe hire Josh to clean?"

"J-Joshua." I corrected.

"Tyler, I don't care. Go put on a shirt and come back out here."

I nodded and ran to my room, throwing on the first shirt I saw. I walked back out and she wasn't on the couch. So I walked to the kitchen and she wasn't there.

"Mom?" I called out.

"What are you doing?" Brendon asked, stepping inside.

I jumped back and let out a shaky breath. "W-What?"

"Why are you calling for your mom?" He asked dropping off the bags in his hand on the kitchen table. "Is she here?"

"I-I don't know..." I trailed off, looking around the two rooms for her.

"What do you mean you don't know? Ty, is she here or not?"

"I-I think so. I saw her, but-but now she's gone."

"Great," He spoke walking down the hall. "Now you're insane." He scoffed.

That's not possible, she was just here! I-I saw her! She-she...she was just here. Oh my God, what is happening?

"Ty, get in here." Brendon yelled.

I flinched at his voice and quickly walked to our room.

"C'mon, let's just sleep, alright?" He said laying down.

"It-It's only 5." I said.

"Yeah, I know. But you seem tired and I'm tired and I just wanna sleep with my boy."

I nodded and took off my pants then my shirt. I climbed into bed and cuddled into Brendon's side.

"I-I think I'm going crazy." I said, my voice just above a whisper.

"What do you mean, Ty?"

"I-I heard my mom, I-I saw her. And she-she just disappeared when you c-came home."

"I think you're just over tired, Ty. Go to sleep, alright? I'll be here when you wake up."

"O-okay." I nod.

I squeeze my eyes shut and he kisses the top of my head.

"I love you, Ty."

"I love you too, Bren."

//

My eyes flutter open to see Brendon on top of me.

"W-what are you doing?" I ask.

He put his hand over my mouth and shushed me. "None of your business." He spoke.

There's a slight breeze and I realize I'm completely naked. That's when I feel him inside me. No warning, no lube, nothing.

I whimper under his hand as tears roll down my cheeks. You'd think I'd be used to this by now. Used to him and his size, but it's just something you can't get used to. Nothing about this you can get used to.

"Fuck, Ty." He groaned.

He kept going, in and out of me. Using my body for his pleasure. Using me for his enjoyment. My half awake body, my numb, close to lifeless body. All because of him and all for him.

I need to end this. I don't care if it means getting killed by him or myself. I need to end this.