save [joshler]

argument

Joshua's pov

Month 6

"Hello, this is Tyler Joseph from Wal-Mart, how may I help you?" Tyler spoke.

I roll my eyes and continue making my sandwich. We got into another fight today. He said I need to pick up extra shifts at my new job when I'm already working 10-hour shifts. I'm working 6 days a week, and I need to pick more shifts?

I got a new job at this warehouse because the coffee shop wasn't paying enough and it was all his idea. I quit my fucking job, the one I've grown to at least tolerate, the one I've worked at for well over a fucking year. He made me quit. And now I'm stacking and moving around heavy ass boxes all day.

The other day he fucking told me that Jim is too loud! Like, excuse the fuck out of me, I'll just ask the dog to quiet down. Yeah, the dog who definitely fucking speaks English. That's not how this shit works, Tyler!

I know. I know I shouldn't get angry at him, especially with everything that just happened, but he fucking makes it impossible!

//

"Can you just fucking get off my ass! I'm working so hard and you keep acting like I'm not doing anything! I'm breaking my fucking back at this job, the least you could do is give me time to adjust to it!" I snapped at him.

"We need to pay rent, Joshua!" He said as he continued washing the dishes.

"I fucking know that! I literally just started this job! I need to give it more time before I'm paid $18 an hour!"

"You could've kept the job at the coffee shop-"

"You fucking told me to quit there!" I say, cutting him off.

"No I didn't!" He said, snapping his head at me, shooting me a venomous glare. "I told you that you should look for a higher paying job! I didn't fucking tell you to quit!"

"Yes the fuck you did, Tyler! But even if you didn't, you think I could fucking do that? I almost broke my fucking arm yesterday, dude! Making coffee, working with a bunch of teenagers and dealing with the general public while at the same time moving and lifting heavy boxes would literally make me kill myself! Rent can fucking wait!" I pace around the kitchen, somewhat cleaning it.

"No it fucking can't Joshua! We're already behind! Not to mention the other fucking bills!" He said, shutting off the water. He turned and looked at me, waiting for a response.

I stop moving around, standing still by the table. "Then you get another job! All you're fucking doing is sitting on your ass and answering phone calls! You get another fucking job!"

"You know how hard it was to just get this one, I wouldn't be able to get another one!"

"Then just shut the fuck up, Tyler! I'm fucking tired of this!" I yelled, almost too loudly.

Tyler's eyes started glistening with tears and he looked horrified.

"I'm sorry." I say, sighing. I reach my hand out to him but he backs away. "Tyler?"

He shakes his head, letting the tears fly down his face.

"Tyler, I'm sorry-" He cuts me off by running away down the hall, slamming his door shut.

Fuck.

//

I'm sitting on the couch, half paying attention to the tv. My main focus is the crying man in the other room. It's been two hours and there's been no sign of him. Jim has been laid down in front of his door the whole time.

I feel so fucking bad, I don't know what the fuck came over me. Fuck! I'm such a fucking asshole, why the fuck did I do that?!

I shake my head and push myself off the couch. Making my way down to Tyler's room, I put my hand on his door to knock but it opens. He was taken back, not expecting to see me. His eyes are so red and puffy, you can visibly see the tear stains on his cheek.

"I-I'm sorry, Tyler. I don't... I don't know why I said that, I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything, he just looked down at the floor. When he noticed Jim laying down, he smiled softly.

"Could um, would it, uh, c-can I give you a hug?" I ask.

He looks up at me, the small smile barely there and he nods. "Please." He whispers.

I immediately wrap my arms around him and pull him into my chest, hugging him tightly. He wraps his own arms around me loosely.

"I really am sorry, Tyler. I didn't mean it, I was just angry and overwhelmed. I know that it doesn't make it okay at all, but I'm just sorry. I never ever want you to shut up."

"It's okay, I forgive you Joshua. And I'm sorry for the way I've been acting the past few days. I don't have an excuse, I've just been overwhelmed by literally everything. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you, Tyler."

//

Tyler moves around, lays down and uses my lap as a pillow and looks up at me.

"Y'know," He spoke. "When Brendon told me to shut up, he always had my life in his hands. Whether he had his hand around my throat, a beer bottle in his hand, whatever, I was afraid that I was going to die.

"Today, when you told me to shut up, I-I didn't... I wasn't in fear of my life today. For the very first time, in seven years, I wasn't scared when I was yelled at. Because it was you, y-you make me feel safe even when you yelled at me.

"And that made me scared. There was something... comforting in knowing I wasn't okay. Not mentally, because obviously I wasn't, but physically. I knew, at any moment, it could've been my last. And that... it was comforting. And now, everything is unpredictable. I wasn't afraid when you yelled at me today. I don't- I don't know what to do with that."