save [joshler]

wedding

Tyler's pov

Month 54 prt. 2

(dont play the song until i say!)

"Hey there! Hope you're all enjoying the party..." Patrick says into the speaker.

Everyone stops dancing and pays attention to the man on the stage, but my focus is on the man across the room. He's leaning back against the wall, a drink in his hand. People are surrounding him, his true friends and family but he looks uninterested. Bored.

"Hey, what's his deal?" I ask Mike.

"What's up?" He asks.

"That guy, across the room. What's up with him?"

"Oh shit, I didn't expect Joshua to be here." He laughs.

Joshua? Why does that sound so familiar?

"Why?"

"Bro, this is his ex-husbands wedding."

/

"Hey!" Jay yells, snapping me out of it. "Where'd you go there?" He laughs.

I look around the room and sniffle. "Just thinking about my dream last night, it's nothing. How do I look?" I smile, brushing it off.

"You look perfect, now let's go out there and show everyone else how amazing you look." He smiles back.

I nod and he holds out his arm. I laugh and hook my arm around his. The music starts up and we walk out to the main room in unison. We walk, step by step to the front as the surrounding people throw out awe's. I smile at them, giving small waves to the important people.

I look forward, ahead where Joshua and the priest is standing. He and I make eye contact, his smile is so wide. He's... he's perfect.

We reach the front and Jay places my hand in Joshua's and then walks behind me in line.

"Dearly beloved..."

/

"Tyler, you go first." He says.

I nod and look Joshua in the eyes, smiling. "These past, gosh what has it been? 7 years?"

He nods, smiling wide. "Yeah, 7 years."

I chuckle and shake my head. "These past 7 years with you, have been the greatest and most difficult years of my life. I've learned everything is temporary. Moments, feelings, people, flowers are temporary. You've helped me learn that love is about giving everything and letting it hurt.

"I've learned vulnerability is always the right choice, because it's so easy to be cold in a world that makes it so difficult to be soft. I've learned all things come in twos. Life and death, pain and joy, salt and sugar. Me and you. It's the balance of the universe.

"It's been the years of living so good, but taking note of the bad life in between. Making friends and family out of strangers, strangers out of friends and family. Realizing red bull and the nacho lunchables will fix everything.

"I've learned to always focus on the good, warm energy. To soak, bask in it and become better people. Better brothers, sons, lovers. It's the good in life we always miss and the bad we're always so fixated on, but you pulled me out of that.

"You, Joshua, have taught me how to be better. You've taught me so much and I know you'll only teach me more as the years go on. It's never been just butterflies and sunshine, but as long as I have you I know I'll be okay. Because you taught me that. That I'll be okay, no matter what.

"You saved me, Joshua. You saved me."

/

"Are you drinking?" Jay asks me.

I laugh and shake my head. "No, not tonight."

"Not even one?"

"No, not tonight. Maybe Joshua is though."

"Okay cool." He smiles and runs off to find my husband.

I smile to myself and shake my head. My husband. Seven months and it still doesn't feel real. We rented a small venue for the wedding, invited the most random people we thought of and went ham on the decorations. It's looks great in here, almost exactly what I had imagined.

It's weird being married. I still...I feel like Brendon will always have this power over me and will never let me fully enjoy things. He's dead, and despite that he's still a part of my life.

"Hey, what's got you so glum?" Madison asks sitting next to me.

I look at her and smile. "I'm not glum."

"You look it."

I sigh and look out at the dance floor, my eyes instantly landing on Joshua. My heart flutters but I ignore it. "I have this haunting feeling that Brendon will come back and ruin this."

"Tyler, he's dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

I nod my head and look back at her. "I know, I'm still working some things out that he put me through and I guess this is one of them."

"Are you still going to therapy?"

"I am, yeah."

"Good, that's good. I'm proud of you, Tyler."

I smile and shake my head. "Thank you, Maddy. I'm proud of you too."

She stands up and holds her hand out for me. "C'mon, let's go dance."

I roll my eyes and place my hand in hers, she yanks me to the dance floor with everyone else. Some notice us, giving us a 'hey'. I wave at them and begin just, shaking my shoulders, letting my body feel the blasting music.

As our sweaty, sticky bodies bump and collide into each other, the song ends. We all stand still and catch our breath, taking this chance to talk to each other. Many people break off, leaving the floor, other still dancing to no music.

I look around trying to find Joshua, only to see him already looking at me. I smile and wave at him from across the room, him doing the same back.

"You really lucked out with him." Jay says.

"I did, didn't I?" I sigh.

"You deserve it though. The happiness, the peace and love. You deserve it."

I look at him and smile. "Thank you, Jay."

(okay, play the song!)

Another song starts playing, our song. I chuckle and look back at Joshua but he's already right next to me.

"May I have this dance?" He asks smiling, holding out his hand.

I giggle and softly place my hand in his, smiling widely. "You have to take the lead."

"I figured." He laughs.

He pulls me closer to him, I wrap my arms around his neck as he wraps his around my waist. We lock eye contact, a small smile permanent on our faces.

"Run away, find you a lover
Go away somewhere all bright and new
I have seen no other,
Who compares with you
You belong among the wildflowers,"

I rest my head on his chest, smiling softly. "I love you so much, Joshua."

He kisses the top of my head, I can just feel his smile. "And I you, love."