save [joshler]

almost

Joshua's pov

"Heh, sorry about the mess." I say as we walk inside. "I wasn't expecting company so soon."

He laughs and shakes his head. "It's okay, you just saw how messy mine was the other day."

"Yeah, that's true." I laugh. "You can just sit on the couch, would you like anything to drink? I have water, red bull and chocolate milk."

He laughs while he walks to the couch. "Such a wide variety. I'll just have a red bull, please."

"Sure thing." I walk off to the kitchen and pull out two cans of red bull before joining him on the couch.

"I like your apartment. It's nice." He says, his gaze all over my living room.

"It sucks," I let out a fake laugh and sip the cold drink. "But thank you."

"No, it's nice. It's homey, a lot better than mine." 

"I like your house-"

"You do not, I saw your face when you stepped inside! It's a disaster!" He laughs.

I chuckle and nod. "Yeah, just a little."

He fake gasps and lightly shoves me. "Rude."

"I'm just kidding! I do like your house though, it's nice and quaint."

He smiles and leans back on the couch, taking a sip of the red bull. "Yeah, I guess."

"Why don't you like your home?" I ask.

"I dunno. It's just not how I want it to...to feel like. It doesn't feel like yours does. I feel like I could make this place my home. My house...well it just feels like a house. Like I'm a stranger there."

"Why do you feel like a stranger in your own home?"

His eyes are glossy, lips slightly parted and his breathing starts to fasten. "I don't know, Joshua."

"Can I ask why Brendon lied to your mom? Is he the jealous type? I can leave you alone if it's causing this much of a problem."

He softly smiles and shakes his head. "It's not your fault, Joshua. We've been good recently, I really don't know why he would do that. It's just him and his issues, I guess."

"Why wouldn't your mom believe you? Does she have a history of like, lashing out when angry?"

"No, she doesn't even get angry! Angry and Kelly Joseph do not belong in the same sentence. I just don't get it Joshua."

//

"Woman, why don't you be answering any of my pages?"

"I hate when you call me woman!"

"Where you been all weekend? You jeepin' behind my back?"

The couple on the tv spat back and fourth as Tyler and I sat silently on the couch. I asked if he wanted to watch a movie and he picked Clueless, I wanted to watch The Godfather but we settled on Clueless.

He started crying after I kept asking questions and it was a little awkward so I figured to put on a movie to distract him. It seems to be working.

I hope he's okay. I mean, obviously he's not. But I hope it isn't too much for him. He doesn't deserve any of it, and I don't like seeing him this way. I just want to hug him and squeeze out all of the sadness from his body.

He starts shifting and moving around, sniffling lightly. I reach over to the side table and grab the tissue box, handing it to him.

He laughs lightly and pulls one out. "Thank you."

"Yeah, you okay? Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm okay." He says through his tears. "I'm sorry, I'm okay."

He bursts into a sob and I quickly pause the movie and pull him into a hug. He rested his head on my shoulder, his hot breath in the nape of my neck. He sobbed and sobbed, crying as hard as he could handle, drenching my shirt in his tears.

We stayed in that position until he could breathe properly again. Until he felt content enough to move away. I didn't even realize how close our faces were.

"Sorry." I chuckled.

"It's m-my fault, I need to stop crying so much." He spoke, his voice cracked all over.

"No, it's okay." I smile softly at him.

He smiled back and something changes. His face softened, his lips were parted and his eyes seemed to glow in the dark room.

I brought my hand to his cheek to wipe away his tears but when I went to pull away, his hand was placed on mine, forcing me to stay put.

"You're really pretty." I whisper.

He smiles, which causes me to do the same. "Thank you, Joshua."

Our faces inch closer and closer, when all of a sudden my phone in the kitchen starts to ring. His hand drops mine and he pulls away. I glance at him before rushing off to the kitchen.

//

"Wasn't my mom a Betty? She died when I was just a baby. A fluke accident during a routine liposuction. I don't remember but I like to pretend she still watches over me." The woman on the tv spoke.

We resumed the movie after my phone call. It was just Debs asking if I work on Sunday, which she should totally know by now that Sunday is my only day off but that's okay.

Whatever. The movie is going again, the tv is our only source of light. Tyler shifts around and suddenly, I feel a weight on my shoulder.

"Is this okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, Tyler, this is okay." I say and rest my head on his.

With a huge smile plastered on my mouth, my eyelids slowly become heavier and heavier.