save [joshler]

not anymore

Tyler's pov
**tw**

"Why the fuck did you not tell me you were going over there?!" He yelled, slamming a cupboard door as I walked inside.

The smile that was once plastered on my face had completely disappeared. All the joy and relief I felt today, completely washed away.

"I-I'm sorry-"

"You're sorry? I don't fucking want your apology! I want to know why the fuck you thought it would be a good idea to leave this house without my permission or acknowledgement!"

"I-I-I-"

"You just didn't think I'd find out? Or you thought I wouldn't mind or? What the fuck was going through your mind, Ty?"

My eyes stung with tears as he backed me into a corner.

"I-I-"

"Use your fucking words Ty!" He spat.

"I-I thought I-I was free to-to go over there without p-permission be-because I had already been over there a-a few time-"

"No! No, that's not how this fucking works Tyler! It doesn't matter how many times I let you go somewhere, you still have to fucking ask me to go! Oh my God, are you fucking stupid?! When was the last time I let you go somewhere without my permission?" 

"I-" 

"Just shut the fuck up Tyler. Go to our room, you fucking know what to do."

I nod and run past him to our room. I let out a shaky breath as I pull off my all my clothes. I go in his favorite position on the bed and hold back the tears.

"If you weren't such a fucking bitch today I'd compliment you right now." He spoke.

I hear him walk over to the dresser once again and unlock one of the drawers. I just need to get through this and I'll be able to bathe. I just need to get through this and I'll be okay. I just need to get through this-

"FUCK!" I shouted.

He chuckled and pulled out whatever was inside of me.

"You like that?" He asked, shoving it back inside.

My back arches as I grip the bed sheets underneath me. "Y-Yes sir."

I just need to make it through this.

//

"He what?"

"He-He was in a fight today, that's w-why I was late coming home today."

"I can't have you around him! That guy is dangerous!" He yelled.

I flinched at his voice. "H-he's not dangerous." I spoke softly.

"Ty! You just said he was in a fight today! What if he tries to pull something on you! No, no, no, you aren't going back there. Not anymore. I shouldn't have let you go in the first place!" He shot his hands up and walked away.

Biting my bottom lip I let out breath. I shouldn't have told him. I knew he was gonna react like this, God I'm so fucking stupid. Why do I have to tell him everything?!

Because we know he'll find out anyways. He always finds out; no matter what.

"I'll just call your mom and tell her that you can't go anymore. I'll tell her to have one of your siblings do it." He said, walking back inside.

I roll over on my back and stare at the ceiling. I don't want to sound like some edgy teenager, but fuck, I wish I was never born.

"Okay." I said.

"Okay." He held his phone up to his ear and turned around.

I hear my mothers muffled voice through the phone and sigh. I hate lying to her.

"Hi Kelly!" He said leaving our room again.

Sitting up in the bed I scan my naked body. Scars and bruises scattered all over my legs and lower abdomen. Some are over my arms and around my collarbone too, but he likes sticking with places people can't see.

It's been awhile since the last time he actually beat me, I wonder when the next time will be. Until then, I guess I'll count my blessings.

On the theme of sounding like an edgy teenager, I'm fucking ugly. He should just do the whole world a huge favor and kill me.

"So," he said, making me flinch. "She said she's not upset and she understands. Said she thinks Josh is capable of doing it alone now."

"Joshua." I whispered.

"Hm?" He hummed, walking over to the closet.

"Nothing," I stand up and walk over to him. I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his waist. "Nothing at all."

He turns his head to kiss my forehead, smiling as he pulls out some clothes. Turning his body to face me, he hugs me and kisses me lightly.

"You're so pretty." He said, staring into my eyes.

I shrink under his gaze and his grip. "Th-thank you, Bren." I spoke.

"You remember you're only mine, right? No one else's, right?"

I nod, causing him to smile. "Y-yes, I know."

"Good. I wouldn't want to remind you again." He winked and walked away, leaving me totally alone.

Why do I love him?