save [joshler]

sex ed.

Tyler's pov

Month 30 prt. 2

"You what?" He asks.

"I'm ready to have sex with you. I've been thinking about it for a while now, almost three months. I dunno, I'm ready."

"Are you sure? I don't want to do anything unless you're 110% sure."

"I'm 120% sure, Joshua. I think it's time I try it again, and I shouldn't be giving him that kind of power anymore. It's been a little more than three years, I just...I'm ready for it, for you."

He gives me a small smile and slight nod. "When do you wanna do it?"

"Not tonight, I feel icky today. But I don't want to try and plan it, either. I think planning it would just make it seem scripted, I just want it to come naturally to us. Like, an out of the blue kind of thing."

"Okay," He smiles. "Okay."

"Okay."

//

"So, I just want to go over the basics okay?" He says.

I groan and roll my eyes. "Joshua, I know how to have sex."

"That's not what I mean, love. I mean with consent, and a safe word, the basics, y'know?"

"Safe word?" I ask. Never heard of that before.

"Yes?"

"What's a safe word?"

"You don't know what a safe word is?" He asks, giving me a look of confusion.

"No... should I?"

"I mean, yeah, I guess you should. But, a safe word is usually involved in bdsm, which we are not doing for our first time, but considering your past with it all, we need a safe word for you. Basically, if you want to stop whatever we are doing, you say the word and it all stops."

Well wouldn't that have been fucking useful before. Although, he wouldn't have listened and probably just laughed at me.

"Uh, okay. What word is it?"

"Well that's the cool thing, you come up with the word. Normally it's something that would never be said during sex."

"So like..." I pause to think. "Oh, like pineapple!"

"Yes, exactly like pineapple." He says smiling. "So you understand all that right?"

"Yes."

"Okay, just run it down for me, use your own words."

I laugh and shake my head. "You sound like a teacher."

"Well don't make me give you a detention." He winks.

"Joshua, never ever say or do that again."

He laughs and nods. "Okay, but go ahead and tell me what a safe word is."

"When I say my safe word during sex, it will tell you that I want to stop everything and you will comply and get off of me."

"Woah, who says I'm topping?"

"What?"

"Why am I topping? I thought you were?"

"Why would I top?" I ask, giving him a look.

"Well, I dunno, I just figured you would want to. With everything-"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"What? Nothing bad, I don't know, I just figured since you've never been in control you would want to be. Which I'm okay with, you're hot and I'd hella be down for you to be in control."

"Well I'm half flattered, but no, I will not be topping. Unless, you actually want me to then I guess I can suck it up-"

"No, no, that's okay. I shouldn't have just assumed you wanted to top, I'm sorry."

I give him a small smile and kiss his cheek. "It's okay."

"Okay, well now that we have that down, consent-"

"Hey, I know what that is!"

He laughs and squeezes the hand of mine he's holding. "Okay, so I don't have to explain it?"

"Nope!" I smile.

"Okay, well then I just want to make it clear right now, before we ever do anything, I will not make a single move without asking you for permission first, okay?"

I give a single nod. "Okay, sounds good."

He catches me be surprise with a quick kiss. "You're really cute."

I giggle and shake my head. "You're the cutest."

//

We're swinging our hands back and fourth as we walk down the isle. Food shopping is somehow always fun with Joshua.

"What kind of cereal do you want?" He asks. "We never have Lucky Charms and I've been in the mood for it recently."

"Hun, Lucky Charms is for ankle bitters."

He laughs very loudly, making me smile. "What the fuck is an ankle bitter?"

"A child?"

He laughs harder, trying to catch his breath. I shake my head, laughing at him as I throw a box of Raisin Bran into the cart.

"Ankle bitter? What the fuck." He cries with laughter.

"It's not that funny." I laugh.

"It's fucking hilarious!"

"I mean it's true! Kids fuckin' suck!"

"How can you not like kids?" He asks, calming down.

"They're mean and complete assholes. I hated school because of the other kids."

"Yeah, but they weren't raised right. If we have-"

"Joshua, it is way too early in our relationship to be talking about having kids."

He laughs and nods. "Okay, no more kid talk for at least another year."

"Thank you."

We continue walking in and out, up and down many isles, collecting the food we need and random snacks. Most of them for Joshua. We walk in silence, listening to the radio above us, the surrounding conversations of the different shoppers, and the many cries of toddlers.

"See? That's why I don't like kids. They ruin everyone's shopping trip with their high pitch screeches!"

He chuckles, shakes his head and tosses a jar of peanut butter into the cart. "Love, our baby wouldn't do that."

"How do you know? They could be the most obnoxious child ever!"

"Yeah, but we would raise them better! It's all about the parenting."

"Joshua, you and I both know absolutely nothing about parenting. You don't even speak to your whole family! I haven't seen my dad since I was 17. Parents aren't really our strong suits."

"It'll give us a chance to be better than them, and we already know what not to do so we kinda have an advantage. But like you said, it's too early to talk about kids. We have a few more years."

I smile and squeeze his hand. "I love you, Joshua. I love you so much."

"I love you so much too, baby boy."