Sugar 『Buckyxfem!reader』

🦋 39 🦋

-Y/Ns pov-

Time goes by and finally I let go of Steven.
"Do you think he would mind if I...?"
With a shaking hand I point at a pillow.

Steven sadly smiles at me and leads me into James' bedroom. 
"He wouldn't mind anything, Y/N."

I nod and slide under the covers of James' bed. Taking in his smell I pull one of the pillows into a very tight embrace. There aren't a lot of pictures around, he spends most time with us after all.

Wrong. He spend.
James is dead.

Again my eyes fill with tears and I clench onto the pillow. Sniffling I keep looking at my surroundings. The furniture matches the walls, everything's clean except for a little bit of dust. My eyes fall on a picture on his nightstand. Next to it is a picture of his parents, but the one that caught my attention shows me. Steven and me to be exact.

"Sugar."

A tear drops from my face as his voice echos through my head. My head tilts a bit when I spot the paper underneath the picture. With the pillow pressed against my body I sit up and take it. I inspect the what turns out to be envelope and my head tilts again.
'Y/N Rogers' is written on it with James' handwriting. Slowly I open the envelope and pull out a letter. 

Well if it is for me I surely can read it, right?
"Only if you let me go, Sugar."
Shocked I look around but he's not here.
So now my head is answering myself, huh?

I open the letter and admire James' handwriting. Carefully I let my fingertips slide over the dried ink before I start reading it.

'Dear Y/N,
I hate to leave. When I got my commands it took you one look to figure it out. You're one of the smartest people I ever met. Can't wait to win the war and come back as your hero. With cotton candy of course. 
Now you'll never receive this letter, I simply needed to get my thoughts out of my head. But in case you do receive it, I asked your father for your hand. I don't think he took my request seriously but I bought a ring anyways. It's yours, if you want to.
James Buchanan Barnes
PS. I love you, Sugar xx'

Tears roll down my face and with shaking hands I look back into the envelope. A thin ring with a cute small gemstone is left inside it. Sobbing escapes my mouth as I clench the pillow against my body. Worried Steven joins me and gives me a concerned look when he sees the envelope and the letter in my hands. 

"What did he write?"
My brother sits down next to me and puts his arm around me to pull me into another hug. 

Gently he takes the letter and starts reading it. With every row his eyes widen and his gaze gets sadder. After he finished the letter he takes the envelope and takes out the ring. With me sobbing and sniffling against his shoulder he puts everything back onto the night stand. I feel his strong arms pressing me against him.

Is he trying to be strong for me? After I said that it's his fault? You really are a good man, Steven. I failed you.

Because I'm not able to calm down Steven tugs me into James' bed and gets back to work.

James is dead.

Again the thought echos inside of my head as I dug myself deeper into the sheets. But this time it's different. I don't argue anymore. I let the thought in and with the acceptance comes the grief. It rolls over me, leaving me shaking and sobbing into James' sheets.

"I really like you too."

The picture of his handwriting appears in my head along with his voice.

I love you, Sugar.