Sugar 『Buckyxfem!reader』

🦋 89 🦋

Quick warning: The authors note on the end of this chapter has a heavy topic.
Stay safe, loves.

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-Y/Ns pov-

Buckys hands don't leave my body but he gives me that little bit of space I got between us.
"It's okay."
He sniffles.

"No, it's not."
I place my hands on each side of his face and gently caresses it with my thumbs.
"Hydra sounded like hell and in the end you had to forget me to stay alive. I-"

-love you.
But I can't tell you. What if you don't love me back?

"You what?"
Buck draws me closer again, his hands now on my hips.

"Nothing, Bucky. Really."
I send him a light smile and wipe away his tears with soft strokes.

For just a moment I could swear his eyes darted to my lips but when I looked at them, we locked eyes. A warmth rises inside of my body, not the same one I get when I blush. Unable to prevent it, my eyes wander down to his lips. 

Fuck.

As fast as possible I turn my head to watch the view from the compounds roof, the warmth spreading in my chest and my heart beating faster.

He takes his hands off me and turns to face the night sky, the sun almost completely down. I steal a few glances for him, Bucky now looks at the sky as well, the stars shimmering in his eyes and the moonlight caressing his body. Again, 40s James was hella handsome, but he was an asshole as well as a playboy. But this man sitting next to me? He's everything but his old self. He's kind and loving and sweet and even though a few girls tried flirting with him, he never actually flirted back. Not on purpose anyways. Just now I start to notice how I was the only girl he actually flirted with, the only one he seemed to be interested in.

Maybe our feelings are mutual?

Shaking my head I try to shove the thought away and lock the memory of him, sat looking into the sky with that boyish glam in his eyes and the moon lightning him up, in a little box in my brain. I won't allow myself to forget him.

Tell him. Go on, Y/N, you've waited so long. You two really bond, he cares about you. And even if not you can always go back to hating each other. Maybe not say the l-word now; he could go all fourties and try to marry you, but...

"James Buchanan Barnes-"
I clear my throat and grin at the shocked face he makes from me saying his full name. Back in the days a lecture would follow those three words.
"Will you be my boyfriend?"

We lock eyes but he doesn't say anything. He just sits there, his blue eyes darting back and forth between mine, mouth closed.

Shit. I shouldn't have asked him. I ruined it.

"James?"
I ask, now nervously fumbling with a strand of my hair before tucking it behind my ear.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, his expression changes. A crooked smile forms on his lips, the stars glowing in his eyes, the blue almost completely pushed away from his widened pupil. If I had to put it, he looks at me in awe, trying to say a thousand words with his eyes.
Unable to put his feelings into words, Bucky places his hands on my cheeks, cupping my face, and starts nodding like one of those dolls with wiggly heads.

Then, at last, the words find their way back.
"Yes! Fuck yes, Y/N!"

He pulls our heads together and places his lips on mine, gently kissing me like he never has before. I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect a kiss as soft as this one. Soft, but passionate. As if he was whispering the words 'I love you' with it.

While his hands wander over my body, one to my neck, holding me as close to him as possible, and the other one around my waist, a thousand stones fall from my heart. Completely blown away by his loving kiss, I lean in to get even more, placing my hands on his chest. We had a lot of make out sessions, gosh, the sex we had... But this? I can't point out enough how different it is.

Fireworks explode inside of me as he draws me closer, putting more pressure on our lips. The taste of my favorite wine mixes into the taste of his love for me. Butterflies mix into the fireworks, flying with it, dancing through the explosions.

After the kiss, Bucky wraps both his arms around me and pulls me onto his lap.
"I promise I won't let you down, Y/N."

"Let me down?"
Furrowing my brows I get a bit of space between our faces.
"When did you ever let me down?"

"That's what I'm saying."
He starts fumbling with the back of my shirt and clears his throat.

"Spill it, James."
I command, now crossing my arms in front of my chest but softly bumping his head with mine.

"Well..."
He carefully draws me even closer.
"I left Steve at home back then... And I might have not gone on that date...?"

I gasp, faking to be hurt.
"You liar!"

"Oh, come on, you love it. I can see it in your eyes."
He grins and pulls me in for another kiss.

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I am literally writing part 112 atm and guys I'm so happy I want to cry.
Also I'm very excited if y'all get the reference I put in part hundred-something!

⚠️ TW ⚠️ mention of řápę
Another important topic: I'm experiencing it first hand rn; romanticizing sexual harassment, ect. Yes, it's a fanfiction. Yes, this is Wattpad. All the more important is it to NOT romanticise that. We grow up in a mysoginistic society with rape culture and we should do something against it. Romanticising that kind of behaviour (see e.g. "Sierra B. is a loser") is not okay! That is why it's so important to me to bring consent into my stories. If there's no question for consent it's most likely that nothing will happen, there's a trigger warning in front or the characters simply know each other good enough. There is a reason why I write my books like this: I hate this reality and I want my realities to do and to be better.

Stay safe. ❤️
Love y'all ❤️
~V