The Pretty List ~ A Lams AU

✨8 ~ Scars✨

i'm writing this even tho i haven't finished the last one

tw: talking of stabbing, idk if that needs a warning but yeah, blood, some mentions of self harm, stay safe my homos and homies

I squint at the bright light as I wake up. Why is it always so light, what the fuck?!

I have no idea what time it is, but I do know I am incredibly sleep deprived. Dang. I rub my eyes and turn over, facing John.

He has his hands over his eyes and therefore I'm assuming he's already awake.

"Good morning," I whisper gently, my voice slightly croaky.

"Mmmm no." He says, taking the pillow and placing it over his head, groaning. I laugh slightly and turn back over, hopefully to fall back asleep.

I am way too sleep deprived to function for the next at least hour or something, and I plan to lie here and do nothing. Or something. I don't know. It was a late night last night, we didn't get back till... midnight? Or is that when I went to sleep. It could be both actually.

Suddenly, I feel John's hands slip around my waist.

Wait what the fuck.

"John?" I whisper, frowning, very confused and tired and confused. Did I mention confused? What is he doing? Um?

"Shhh, I'm cold," He whispers back, sending shivers down my spine.

I uh, ok-

I take a deep breath, my skin tingling under his touch. Every time, c'mon! Why do I get so, like, nervous? Oh god, it's stupid.

Well I mean, worse things have happens, he kissed me last night.

I freeze and he kinda like, hugs me from behind. What the fuck. I am way too tired for this.

I feel his breath ok the back of my neck, tingling. I let out a small sigh.

tiiiiiiimmme skip brought to u by jake peralta is my father figure help

"It's a Rubik's cube."

"A Rubik's cube?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Yeah, was made back in the 80s." He grins as if he was proud of it.

"Which one?"

He laughs, "1980's."

I peer at it suspiciously. "So what you just match all the colours?"

"Yeah, it's actually really hard. I've never done it before."

"Ha, pathetic." I smirk.

"I'd like to see you try." He raises and eyebrow and I hold out my hand. His fingers brush against mine as he places it in my hand, and I feel my heart give a small little swoop.

"Yeah, fuck you, I'll do this in an hour." I grin, way too confidently.

One hour later

"John! I can't do it!" I yell.

"Ha, I told you." He laughs, sticking his head in the room.

I threw it at him out of spite and surprisingly he catches it. "Careful, that's like, uh 1000 years old?"

"1020 idiot." I mutter, doing the maths quickly, "At a rough."

"Alright, there's a reason I dropped out of high school." He rolls his eyes and goes to walk out, throwing it quickly back to me.

I jump, scrambling to catch it, I'm really bad at sports. "Hey what what, you dropped out of high school?!" I shout and he replies over his shoulder "That's a story for another day."

I sigh and sit back down, turning the Rubik's cube I've in my hands.

time skip against bc this is a filler so calm

John walks into the room and I look up from the Rubik's cube, which I still hadn't finished because I overcompensated, but he doesn't even look at me.

Well that's a bit rude, bitch.

He opens his closet and takes out a shirt before taking his own shirt off. In the room?!

I pull a face and let out a small noise of disgust, looking away, yet unfortunately I can still see him out of the corner of my eye. Fuck.

I sigh in my head and give in and glance at him.

The first thing I notice is he's hot, very hot, even hotter without a shirt. Oh my god he has abs? Whoa. I mean damn. Y'know what, imma just know this, he is the prettiest person, I can call him hot with no homo right?

Right.

The second thing I noticed was scars, he had almost hundreds of scars littering his torso. That might be an exaggeration but ok. They were seemingly all healed, some more prominent than others. I raise an eyebrow. He looks like a soldier who had come back from war. Am I allowed to say that?

I can't help that my eyes travel, and its not like I can choose where to look, but I can't help but look at his arms. And then I just feel guilty, as some look newer than others. My throat goes dry. I feel like I'm invading his privacy now.

"Take a picture it will last longer." He smirks, almost proud? pulling his shirt over his head.

I jump slightly, my cheeks turning a dark shade of red. (rhyme????)

I rush to change the subject, very obviously embarrassed; "Where'd you get this one from?" I ask, pointing at the biggest one over his chest, a large slash.

"Hm? Oh, I got stabbed." He grins, way too happy for the subject.

"You got stabbed?!" I cry. He got stabbed?! What?!

"Well yeah, it was kinda cool."

"Cool?! You literally got stabbed! What happened?!"

"Well, y'know I was kinda just out and then I got stabbed. Peggy ended up calling an ambulance, though I didn't think I needed one."

"Did it hurt?"

"Oh like hell."

He smiles again before walking out. He got stabbed?! Is that normal? How was he so calm, like it was something to brag about?  That is very concerning.

As soon as I know he's gone I move quickly, hardly thinking, over to his bedside table and open the door hurriedly. After not much searching (he should learn to hide things better) I found it.

A blade, and bloody tissues. I take in a sharp breath.

Oh John.

Without thinking I snatch them quickly, and hide them, hopefully better than he did, in a bag under the bed I had put there when I moved in.

I know I should just talk to him, or maybe not. It's none of my business, but I felt guilty not doing something and I would feel guiltier if I confronted him.

time skip brought to u by year 6 after SATs. it was so cool, we had no homework

It was later that day, verging on evening, in that nothing time where it's not light enough to see properly but not dark enough to turn on the lights. I'm sitting downstairs, because I moved. And I'm reading, because I'm a nerd.

A big nerd.

Deal with it.

John suddenly walks in the room (I'm getting a deja vu here) and I look over at him. Neither of us say anything.

He comes over and simply sits next to me, resting his head on my shoulder, hanging onto my arm. I freeze slightly, before relaxing. Wait.

Oh.

Oh god John. Oh god John.

I take a deep breath and rest my head on his.

if it's hard to write this much fluff how am i gonna write the rest??? (future me - BITCH YOU COUNT THIS AS FLUFF??? BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA oh honey)

(this future has free healthcare everywhere and btw plastic surgery is illegal, unless its like medical or smth)