Second time lucky

6

I tried to call.

In fact I had called him so many times that his voicemail was at risk of becoming full, still he never replied.

I hoped that it wasn't due to Brett blabbing, although he did say the end of the week. Still how was I supposed to tell someone so life changing when they wouldn't even answer the phone?

Ava had assured me she would talk to Brett. Apparently the two were dating or friends with benefits or something, not that it mattered, but it was strange.

Either way I appreciated her trying to make amends for the whole thing. I still had two people left on my list and while I didn't want to explain any of that night over the phone, Levi wasn't going to be here until the day of the trial and I wasn't going to wait that long.

Why did I have so many secrets? And why couldn't they stay secrets?

I pulled out my phone and pressed the green button under Levi's name and waited.

"Hey sis!"

"Hey,"

"What's up?"

"I need .. well I, erm."

"Jeeze Britt spit it out" he chuckled.

"I need to explain what happened that night, I don't want it to be a surprise at the trial."

I heard him tell some people to be quiet before what I assumed was a door closing and a deep breath.

"Sorry, Grace has some friends over."

"It's okay," I smiled to myself before explaining all the details to him. I knew I was crying, and so did Levi. No brother likes to hear how his little sister was drugged and violated, which was why I wasn't surprised by his response, I was however surprised by how much of affected him.

"Britt I'm so sorry, I should have... I should have been there." His voice cracked.

"No Levi, you couldn't have known anymore than any of us did."

"I'm going to kill him!" His voice suddenly seethed. "He better hope they lock him up, because I will kill him!"

"I appreciate that, but I don't want to visit you in jail. Let's just wait for the trial." I tried to comfort him.

"I love you Britt!"

"Love you too!"

I disconnected the call and went to splash some water on my face. Kyle was the only person left now, and for some strange reason I was as anxious to tell him the details of that night as I was to talk to Riley about the baby.

Both of which were unavoidable. Kyle was going to be the easiest to get ahold of, so it seemed like the best place to start. Thankfully fate was on my side as I heard a truck pull up and a knock at the door.

I was walking down the stairs when I saw him standing there.

"What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

I had been scared of this talk, I had come to really depend on him lately and I knew this was about to mess it all up.

I tried to hide the nerves racing through me and sat down at the kitchen bar as he stood on the other side.

"Look, what I said, it wasn't fair to you and I'm sorry." He began his fingers moving delicately to touch mine over the counter. "It's just, well we've been getting closer and I really like you Britt. I know you and Riley have a lot of history, and I didn't word what I said right. So I want you to do whatever you need to do to get through the next couple of weeks. I'll be right here waiting for whatever you decide." He shot me a smile.

"Thanks." I breathed out a breath of relief. "I just, I like you Kyle, but I need time. I have so much on my mind and if I'm honest I need you right now. I can't offer what you want right now, it wouldn't be fair to either of us, but that doesn't mean I don't want you in my life. I need you, I need a friend that won't leave."

" I understand." He nodded solemnly before he broke out a smile. "So what did you need to talk about."

I pulled my hand away and motioned for him to follow me to the couch. Once we were sat down I took a deep breath and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"So I need to explain the night Carl attacked me. I don't want anyone surprised when we are in the room. I don't want anyone getting in trouble so I need to make sure everyone knows what exactly happened."

"Britt, I saw what he was doing."

"I know." I cut him off, "but I need to get it out."

He motioned for me to continue and placed his hand over mine as it shook in my lap.

"So Allie and Luke had to leave because she was in labor, the lights started flickering and I heard a crash as the power went out." I began rushing through the whole thing as my eyes began soaking my cheeks. "I tried to call Riley and then called 911. That's when he broke my bedroom door. I didn't have anything to use in the bathroom but I figured my deodorant would work long enough to get away."

"Britt." He said cautiously as he rubbed my hand with his thumb.

"Then he broke the bathroom door and stabbed me with a needle. I couldn't feel anything, my whole body was numb. Like I knew what was happening but I couldn't move to stop it or fight back."

"It wasn't your fault." He comforted me.

"So anyway he pulled me to the bed and took off my clothes." I squeezed my eyes shut and relived some of the worst moments of my life as my mouth continued to explain. "His mouth started on my neck and then my boobs and stomach. His hands were doing something I don't even know, I just kept hoping Riley would get home or that the police would show up."

My eyes were still closed as I wiped my cheeks and continued.

"He kept moving lower and lower until his face was between my legs. I remember closing my eyes and trying to imagine that I was anywhere else, that I wasn't helpless. Then I heard yelling which I guess was when you came in."

"Hey, it's not your fault Britt!" He stated again.

"I should have fought back, screamed for help, I could have ..."

"Britt stop!" He said as he pulled me into his chest. "This is not your fault, you hear me? He is a sick person and nothing you did would have changed the fact that he wanted you."

"It's kind of funny that he got what he wanted in the end. Ever since the first time he tried to find ways to break me and Riley up. He threatened me, broke me down, and now he got that! I'm such an idiot." I pulled away and stood up walking to the kitchen to get some water.

"You're not an idiot." He followed behind me.

"Really? I feel like an idiot. I'm pregnant, and I can't even tell Riley that he's going to be a father, and even if by some miracle he answered the phone I would chicken out. I have a trial to go to because I couldn't defend myself against someone my age, and besides you I don't really have any friends I can talk too. I'm pretty sure I'm an idiot!"

"Britt."

"No Kyle, I'm broken..." I started to sob, "I'm so broken inside that I can barely function most of the time. It's probably the reason he won't talk to me, no one wants a girlfriend with so much baggage."

"He doesn't deserve you. You've spent months waiting for him to come back and he hasn't." He said

"What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"I want you to see how much you deserve more than this!" He motioned with his hands. "It's not just you that you need to think about anymore!"

"Don't you think I know that!" The tears slipped, hot, frustrated as I turned away from him.

He took a step towards me and cupped my face with his hands. "I'm sorry." I leaned into his hands as he pulled me into a soft hug. His heart beat quickened under my ear as I held him tighter.

Maybe he was right? Maybe I needed to give myself a chance at a fresh start. I just needed to figure out how.