Second time lucky

37

Riley's pov

She took it better than I had expected. I thought she would have at least asked for a name, but instead she just said "okay" and turned on the TV as if we never had a conversation at all.

Maybe I was thinking about it all too much, but I would be lying if I wasn't a little hurt that she wasn't even the slightest bit jealous. I had just told her that a female she has never met was going to be staying with me and it seemed as if she could care less.

It was probably for the best though, Courtney wasn't in a good place since Steven broke up with her, and while it was none of my business, she wasn't a bad person. She had never asked me for help before so I knew she must be struggling to call out of the blue.

Britt was acting weird though, I have known her long enough to know when she is hiding something and watching her picking her fingers and bite her lip told me that something was bothering her. If I had to guess it was because Courtney was coming.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked her after a while of awkward silence.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She asked as she fiddled with her ring.

"You're just acting strange since I told you Courtney was coming to visit." When I said her name I watched Britt wince. They had never met each other that I knew of, and Courtney had never mentioned knowing Britt.

"I'm fine." She shot back, "I can't tell you what to do with your life or who you can be with."

"You're being silly Britt. She's just a friend. She dated my roommate for four years."

"And yet she called you when they broke up instead of her girlfriends." She rolled her eyes and slouched further into the couch.

There is was, the jealousy. Britt didn't get jealous much, but it kind of soothes me when she does. I think somewhere deep down it's almost like knowing she is jealous means she still cares.

"She's staying in the guest room, and she really is just a friend. I don't want you to be mad about it, it's no different than when Kyle helped you."

"Exactly." She whispered withdrawing herself from the conversation completely.

I remember the moment it finally clicked in my head. The moment when I finally realized what she meant. It was a sinking feeling in the depths of my gut. The realization that she knew we were just friends but that she was assuming it would amount to more than that, the same way it had with her and Kyle.

I turned to her as she looked down at her hands. Of course Britt was the one who wanted to be friends, but I know it's just because she is scared. I understand how she thinks it is the right thing to do, how she is fighting herself at every turn, and while a part of me wants to play her at her own game, I just can't.

I promised her I wouldn't hurt her again and I plan to stick to it. I put my hand over hers and brushed it gently with my fingertips .

"Britt, we really are just friends. I could never love another woman the way I love you. I know you just want us to be friends and that's fine, but I can't give myself to someone else either, it wouldn't be fair to anyone."

I suppose I was trying to reassure her, but at the same time I was being truthful. Courtney was beautiful, especially on the outside, but she was also high maintenance and bitchy. She put herself above everyone and unlike Britt, she didn't think about how other people were affected by her actions.

I could never be with someone like Courtney. I couldn't be with anyone else but Britt period. She was the light to my darkness, the flower in the desert, she brought me happiness whether she was yelling at me, or talking.