Second time lucky

19

Britts pov

"Shit! Avas called me six times!" I jumped up from the bed and started frantically putting my clothes on as I tried to call her back.

"I'm sure they are fine." Kyle said as he got up and casually got dressed. "Calm down, I'll take you home."

"Don't tell me to calm down, she never calls me like that. What if somethings wrong with the kids.." I trailed off as he pulled me close.

"Britt if something was wrong she would have sent someone to come get you. This is Ava, she's your best friend and she wouldn't let anything happen to either of them."

I knew he was right, but she still wouldn't answer the phone and I couldn't think clearly. I would never forgive myself if something had happened while I was preoccupied.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Don't be sorry, you're allowed to be worried."

"Well that and for.." I motioned to the bed.

"Definitely don't apologize for that. I'm pretty sure the reason we didn't have sex was my fault." He chuckled. "Come on, let's get you home and see what she needed."

Thankfully there wasn't an emergency and Ava seemed shocked that I ran into the house expecting one while the twins just laughed.

"Ava you called me six times!"

"I swear I didn't call you, wait a second," she turned to look at the kids "where is my phone?"

Emelia pulled it out from under her on the couch, handing it back to her with a smile "I missed you mama."

"Britt I'm sorry, I don't know how she got my phone!" Ava looked back at me sympathetically.

"It's okay" I sighed. "Guys you can't call me like that, I thought something was wrong okay?" I crouched down to talk to the kids.

"Okay." They said in unison.

"I told you it was probably nothing." Kyle said. "I gotta go get ready for work, I'll call you later?"

"Okay." I smiled back at him as he walked out and Ava waggled her eyes at me.

I motioned with my eyes to the kids as she nodded in understanding. "Later" she mouthed and I knew I wasn't going to get out of telling her how we still didn't have sex.

It wasn't that we didn't try, but apparently in all the excitement of foreplay he had been unable to control himself and finished prematurely before we got to that. I knew he was upset about it and that's why I didn't make it a big deal, but I was kind of disappointed. My four year celibacy had just taken another day of no action.

"Hey guys why don't you go play in your room, I'll take you out for ice cream later?" I tried to bribe them.

"Can daddy come?" Emelia asked.

"Yeah, pleeeease!" Connor put his hands together as I froze for a moment.

"She will think about it, but if you don't stay upstairs you won't get ice cream either!" Ava stepped in as their eyes widened and they ran upstairs.

We opted to sit outside as I explained the events of this morning to her. How I had been ready to finally give myself up to Kyle, told him I loved him, only to be left sexually frustrated when my foreplay techniques were too advanced for someone who was out of practice.

"Wait, you told him you love him?" She asked.

"Yeah, he was telling me I should talk to Riley, how I needed to hear him out so he could be in the kids lives. How it wasn't fair to take my emotions out if they had to suffer and I don't know, I just felt like I finally understood. Ava he didn't care about his own feelings, he just wanted them to have a chance to know their dad. I can't explain the feeling but I realized that I need him, that I love him."

"I mean I get that, but do you think you're in love with him like future husband material, or just love him?"

"I don't know. It's different with him, but I know that I don't feel the same for him as I do for you or Brett." I admitted.

"What about how you feel, sorry felt for Riley?"

"I mean it's not the same, but me and Riley had three years and we were kids and it was a first love. I don't think anything will ever feel like that."

"Well how do you feel about him now? Riley I mean?"

"I don't know." I picked at the bottom of my shorts. "I'm angry, hurt, but I still miss him. I miss talking to him. The day of the trial I almost didn't testify, and I've never told anyone this, but he came to see me. He told me I had to do it, that it was the only way for me to be happy, to take control of my life." I stared at my lap. "I had forgiven him for leaving the first time as soon as I saw him, but then he left again."

"But you know why." She interrupted.

"I know. Do you think I'm being crazy?" I asked looking at her.

"No, but I also think that you have a lot of emotions to figure out. You built something with Kyle while he was gone, but you have two very permanent ties to Riley, and now that he knows about them he's going to want to be there."

"But what if he leaves again? It won't just be me that gets hurt." I sighed.

"I think you need to hear him out, but watching him cry when they hugged him after you walked away at the party probably tells you he's not going anywhere this time. Plus he left for school and he's done with that now."

"What are you ladies talking about?" Brett asked causing me to jump, a response that had not disappeared since Carl attacked me.

Thankfully the nightmares were less frequent since the twins were born, but I still jumped whenever I heard voices at home that I didn't know were here.

"Nothing just girl talk, you ready to go home?" Ava pecked his cheek.

"Yeah I just need to talk to Britt for a second. Why don't you go tell the kids bye, you know they'll be mad if you don't." He smiled down at her as she looked up lovingly at him.

"Love you Britt." She hugged me before walking into the house.

"I feel like I know what you're going to say." I rubbed my temple with one hand.

"You've got to talk to him. Obviously I want you to be happy, but whether that's with my best friend or Kyle doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is that you don't let your stubbornness keep him from making up the time lost with them."

"That's not fair!" I protested.

"Actually it is fair. I told you to tell him, and you didn't. You put it off until it was too late. He had his reasons for leaving the second time and he wants to explain them. He lost out on four years of their lives because of it and I love you like a sister, but I won't let you mess up their chance of having their dad. He wants to be there for them, and the only way he's going to be able to be there, is if you man up and talk to him."

"Okay, I get it." I rolled my eyes to prevent myself from crying. Brett had never been this stern with me and I didn't really like it. "I'll call him."

"Good, love you Britt." He smiled leaning down to hug me.

"Love you too, take care of my best friend!"

He didn't say anything but just turned around and walked inside to get Ava. I didn't like what he had to say, but I knew it was the truth. He did come back, for what reason I was still unsure, but failing to get along was only going to hurt Connor and Emelia.

Once they had both left I took out my phone and send him a text.

"Let's talk, meet me at the park in thirty." I hit send
'Sounds good, " I glanced at the screen and went to get the kids.