Second time lucky

49

Britts pov

I was laying down in my bed, still running over what exactly I wanted to say to Riley when there was a loud knocking on my door. I looked out of my bedroom window to see a car I didn't recognize.

Still, I didn't need the kids getting woken up, it was close to three in the morning. I slipped on my robe and walked downstairs, glancing through the peephole to see some strange woman on the other side of the door.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"My names Maria, I work at the bar in town. This guy was too drunk to drive so me and my boyfriend gave him a ride and he said to bring him here."

I opened the door slightly before I saw a big muscular guy holding up a very drunk Riley. I let the door open all the way as the girls boyfriend glanced at me.

"Do you know him?" He asked.

"Yeah." I sighed. "Would you mind taking him upstairs to the spare room. It's the second door on the right?"

"No problem." He smiled sympathetically before helping Riley upstairs as I stood with Maria.

"Thank you, for bringing him home." I smiled at her grateful that someone was looking out for him.

"It's no problem, He had been drinking for a few hours, the hard stuff not beer. I thought he had been picked up until we closed the bar. Alex noticed him passed out in his truck. I didn't want him to wake up and try to drive so we woke him up and offered him a ride."

"I appreciate it. Truly." I smiled as her boyfriend, Alex, came downstairs and walked out onto the porch with Maria.

"I put him on the bed, but you may want to change him." He smiled taking her hand.

"Thank you both, so much." I said again.

"No problem. Have a good night." Maria smiled.

"Thanks you too." I closed the door and went to the kitchen.

I knew he would need some water for when he woke up. I filled a glass with water and grabbed some ibuprofen before making my way to the guest room. I set them down on the night stand before I looked at him.

His eyes were closed and he smelled like whiskey. He kept mumbling something that sounded like 'sorry' as I took his jeans off and pulled the comforter over him.

He had never been a drinker in the time I had known him. I could remember him telling me that he drank when we were separated, but clearly something was bothering him to make him drink this much, not that I would get that information out of him right now.

I don't know why but I sat on the side of the bed after pulling off his jeans and brushed my fingers over his cheek. He looked peaceful as he slept, comfortable.

"I don't know what to do with you Riles'." I admitted. "I love you with every inch of my being and yet I just don't know if I trust you not to break me again. I can't go through that again."

Maybe it was because he was drunk and asleep, or maybe it was my subconscious willing me to admit the real truth. "When you left the first time for college I didn't understand it. Why you were ignoring me. I had to force myself to eat for the kids. Then when you left again after the trial I don't know how to explain it, but I had never felt pain like that before. It was numbing. I shut everyone out, lost myself into a really dark place. When the kids were born I stopped eating and Kyle stepped in with your parents. They would help with the kids and Kyle made sure that I kept eating. It took months but I finally found myself again."

I took a breath.

"Seeing her kissing you, it felt like I was loosing you all over again and I don't have the strength to do that again and make it out the other side. I love you. I love you so much, and maybe we can figure this out in the morning, but, I need to know you'll give me your everything, because I can't go back to that darkness again, not with Connor snd Emelia depending on me."