Second time lucky

12

6 months ago.

It had been a year since that first date with Kyle, he was great and everyday that he was around I found myself more and more grateful for him.

It wasn't because we were passion fueled sex crazed adults, no. It was because he had pulled me out of a spiraling depression, stuck by my side no matter how crazy I was being, and most importantly he was there for not only me, but Connor and Emilia.

There was nothing he wouldn't do for those kids, from showing up in the mornings to cook breakfast when he wasn't working, to teaching Connor how to throw a football, or having tea parties in the yard with Emilia, he truly did it all.

I was incredibly lucky to have him in my life, to have him in all of our lives and yet the idea of being intimate past anything more than kissing and cuddling spiked some big anxiety in me.

I had only ever shared myself like that with Riley. It had taken years for me to trust him enough to be that vulnerable like that and it took the promise that he would always be there.

But life isn't a happily ever after movie, and Every time I thought about taking things further with Kyle I would glance at the promise ring on my finger and remember the pain that trusting someone that way came with, the pain that Riley had caused me when he walked away not once, but twice without an explanation.

It was a Friday night after a really nice picnic date at the lake when I realized that I couldn't keep putting off the conversation of my intimacy issues. I knew that he would never ask me about them but I couldn't keep leaving him at the door with that hopeful look in his eye that said he wanted me to invite him inside for more.

His hand was resting on my waist as his lips brushed against mine in the soft feather like way they always did. His eyes were looking at me with such intensity as his thumbs stroked my waist.

"I need to tell you something." I said breathlessly "come in?"

It's not like Kyle had never been in the house, but being completely alone with him inside didn't happen. I pulled him inside to the couch and sat down beside him as he watched me curiously.

"Listen Britt, I'm not going to pressure you." He spoke softly as he put his hand over mine. "I'm happy with how things are."

"But don't you want more?" I asked turning my face to look at him.

"Of course I do, but not if you're not ready for it. I waited years for the chance to date you, I think I can wait a little longer for the more intimate parts." He smiled at me as I found myself gushing.

"Thank you." I grinned throwing my arms around him. I felt his arms embrace me back as I sat straddled over him, just holding him close to me.

My heart was beating erratically in my chest as I leaned back slightly, letting my nose feather against his.

"Promise me something?" I whispered looking into his eyes.

"Anything." He met my eyes.

"Don't break me."

His hand moved to grab my face as the fire that had been missing suddenly erupted in an explosion of crackling sparks and embers of want.

His lips were on mine in a way they never had been before, passionate, urgent, and I gave in to the feeling of letting him consume me, moving my hips against his groin as the heat moved through my body.

It had been two years since I had experienced the feeling of having a man inside of me, and up until now that one lack of activity had never bothered me. I wasn't interested in having sex just to do it, and I had always assumed Riley would be the only person I was intimate with.