Second time lucky

20

It was a nice day out and for that I was thankful. The light breeze was just enough to make the temperature bearable as the sun shone down over the park.

As I approached the playground I caught a glimpse of him, sitting on the bench talking to what I presumed was another father. He looked comfortable in his khaki shorts and white t shirt as he spoke to the man who was probably in his mid thirties.

Connor and Emelia hadn't even noticed him on the other side of the playground - far too excited to play on the equipment to notice anyone that wasn't under 4 ft tall, myself included.

I took a deep breath as I approached him. Simultaneously tracking the movement of the kids as I usually did. It's not that the park wasn't safe, more so I just didn't trust other people where Connor and Emelia were concerned.

Call it paranoid or whatever but after the years of torment from Carl, and Riley's grandfathers threat the day I brought Luke's daughter here, I had learned to become more cautious, more observant and aware of my surroundings.

I was still a few feet away when Riley's new friend picked up a little girl and left at the exact time his eyes found me.

This isn't for you, it's for Connor and Emelia. I reminded myself as a half smiled and walked over to him.

"Sit down Britt." He said as I stood awkwardly beside the bench. "I know we have a lot to talk about but can we just have a few moments without the heavy stuff. I just want to watch them play for a minute." He sounded tired, nothing like the optimistic person he once was.

"Oh,okay." I replied quietly as I took a seat on the bench, careful to leave some distance between us.

We didn't talk for a while, both of us just sitting with each other as our children played on the slide. It wasn't until Emelia came walking over with Connor for a drink that they noticed Riley.

"Daddy!" She squealed as her and Connor rushed to him.

I couldn't help but smile when his face lit up as he wrapped his arms around them, or how he held back the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. It was a touching moment to watch them with him.

It was the moment I knew that Brett was right about everything. I had every reason to be upset with him for leaving piled up in my head, but I also had so many ways I could have saved us both all the pain. Hindsight really is 20/20.

"Hey princess, hey bud." He continued to smile as they pulled away from him.

"Will you come play with us?" Connor asked as Riley looked to me.

"Go ahead, we can talk after." I said unable to shake the growing feeling of guilt in my chest.

Watching him play with them, sliding down the slide and helping Connor with the monkey bars only seemed to make me feel worse. So much time was lost because of me. So many first moments he missed because I was being stubborn and now, now it was up to me to make sure that I didn't ruin their future with their father.

"You have a good one!" A female voice said from beside me.

"Huh?" I jumped turning to face the small blonde lady.

"Your husband, he's a keeper. It's hard to have kids young, but I can tell he loves them and you. My son, Ryan, asks about his dad all the time." She was staring into the distance and I decided not to interrupt. "But it was a high school romance, and then he moved to live with some family and I never heard from him again. He changed his number and his mother wouldn't tell me where he was. I don't think he even knows he has a kid."