Second time lucky

17

Theres always an eerie silence that comes after a storm blows through. People always say the quiet after a storm is worse than the quiet before one and I was starting to understand the concept.

The silence in the room was deafening after I had quickly put some clothes on and joined him back in the living room. I struggled to formulate the right words to explain just how I felt, afraid of his reaction, of him leaving me too.

"I guess I'll start." He said after a while of us sitting in silence.

I shrugged, almost as if I was preparing for the goodbye speech that was bound to follow.

"Listen Britt," he sighed as a tear fell down my cheek. "I'm sorry if I seemed mad, I'm not mad I promise. It was just a shock to hear that he was back and especially from the twins."

"I was about to tell you." I said softly, but broken.

"I know, I just know that you have a whole lot more history and built up feelings towards him. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to go back to him and put your family together."

"You are family Kyle." I said turning to him as my eyes continued to glass over. "And I don't want to throw away what we have, I need you."

"But?" He asked calmly.

"But I'm not going to tell you that I'm not confused, or that I don't still care about him because I do... but I want this, us, to work, but I need you to be patient with me while I figure it all out. I don't know how to do any of this, how to make sure the kids don't get hurt or put in the middle." I admitted.

"I appreciate your honesty Britt." He sighed "and I want us to work too, so whatever you need I will support you, just promise me we won't keep secrets." He took my hand in his as I looked over at him.

"I promise." I replied and I meant it.

"Come here." He smiled pulling me into his arms before kissing the top of my head. "We're going to be okay."

I decided to ignore the nagging voice telling me that it would be more complicated than that, instead I relaxed into his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"Are you going to talk to him?" He asked after a while.

"I don't know. I mean I know I'll have to eventually, I just don't know if I can." I sighed as he tightened his grip on me slightly.

"Well I think you should, when you're ready. It wouldn't be fair to Connor or Emelia if you both couldn't be civil." He said as I had a sudden realization that crashed down faster than a bolt of lightening.

I wasn't sure if it was necessarily the same feelings I had shared with Riley, but there was definitely something more there with Kyle than I had let myself believe. A feeling more intense than I could simply label as liking him.

I pulled back just enough to where I could see his face. He was lost in thought as I admired him and thought about all the ways he had changed my life.

He had taken care of me the day the verdict came in with Carl, lived on my couch for weeks after to take care of me until I finally caved in and gave him a spare key so he could come and go rather than sleeping on the couch.

He was there at the hospital the day after I had the twins and everyday since. I don't even know what time he had to wake up to make them breakfast once they started eating real food, and yet he never complained.

I moved one hand up to the side of his face and leaned up to kiss him tenderly before I rested my nose on his and looked into his eyes.

"I love you." I smiled as I watched the light in his eyes brighten and twinkle before they became hooded and he leaned into me.