Second time lucky

18

Riley's pov

The look in her eyes, the look that told me that I had destroyed her all over again was engrained in my brain. I watched her from the window as she hastily put Connor and Emelia in the car as her parents tried to get her to stay.

I heard the car as it left, left with my children, with her. I needed to fix everything but I had no clue where to start.

Seeing her, her hair hanging in loose curls as she smiled had only reminded me why I had wanted her to ask me to stay in the first place. But she didn't.

I thought it would have been easier for both of us if I stayed away, let her move on with her life. Then at the trial she had begged me to come back and her broken voice was all I needed to know that she needed me.

She had needed me to get through one of the hardest days of her life, and instead of just being there for her, comforting her after she collapsed, I let my own misguided feelings obscure logic and I left again.

I guess a part of me knew that after three more years she had probably moved on. I just hadn't expected it to be Kyle. The same Kyle that she had fought with in high school when he admitted he liked her.

But it was clear they were together now, he had been there, helped her with my children in the fatherly role that I should have. Connor and Emelia clearly loved him as they had asked their grandparents where uncle Kyle had gone.

A break in my self destructive thoughts came when Brett walked in my room with a shocked expression on his face. It changed when he looked at my depressive look as he called someone.

"Hey babe, no stay with her tonight. I'm going to stay here. Yeah I think they both probably look the same right now. Don't worry I'll take care of him, you just focus on Britt and the kids. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you." He hung up.

"I fucked up Brett." I admitted as I sat on my bed.

"Yeah you did, but now you need to take things one step at a time. Britt went through a lot while you were gone, she raised your kids on her own, we all chipped in to help, but she did a lot of it on her own." He explained as the guilt sank in.

"I don't even know where to start. I thought they were his."

"Who Kyle?" He asked amused. "Bro You know I love ya but you can be so dumb. She's only been dating Kyle for a year. They were just friends at the trial, she was still hoping you would come back. She was going to tell you after the trial she was pregnant."

"I really messed up."

"It's okay, we can figure it all out tomorrow, for tonight I'm gonna cheer you up and catch up, tomorrow we can handle the rest." He slapped me on the back.

I told him all about college, how Courtney and Steven had tried to get me out to numerous parties but instead I stayed home and studied. I left out the fact that I drank myself to sleep most nights.

In return he told me how he and Ava had started talking more after being put in the middle of my drama with Britt. How they had been dating for a while now and that they had gotten engaged recently.

We didn't stay up too late, mom eventually told Brett to take the spare room, which coincidentally had two beds in it now, no doubt for the kids.

I had kids now.

I thought about that fact a lot as I wrestled with sleep. In a way I understand why she didn't tell me, it was the same reason I left her at the hospital when I thought she was starting a new family. We both wanted the other to be happy.

Only I had messed up. Multiple times. The kind of mess up that was definitely going to take more than some sweet words to fix. I was going to have to show her.

It hadn't escaped me that she was still wearing the ring I gave her, my promise of our happily ever after. A part of me wondered if she just forgot to take it off, or whether she was still holding out hope for us, even though she was with someone else.

I hoped she was. I still loved her with everything I had whether she believed it or not, but I knew I would need to be smart about winning her back. I would need to be patient.

Before my eyes closed I decided that I would wait for her, use the time to show her I wasn't going to leave again. Prove to her I could be what she needed while I got to know Connor and Emelia.

.....

When I woke up the next morning only my parents were awake. They were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee when I walked downstairs.

"Hey guys." I smiled.

"How are you feeling today? I'm sure yesterday was a lot." Dad said casually.

"I'm okay," I replied as I poured some coffee, "I just don't understand why no one told me."

"We wanted to but she was adamant she needed to tell you. Riley she was so lost for so long, and while I'm glad you're home I can only hope that you understand that." Mom sighed.

"I know. I just want to talk to her. I think we both have a lot to explain." I took a sip of my coffee and turned to go back to my room.

"Riley?"

"Yeah mom?"

"It took her forever after you left the second time to be happy. I know this is all a lot for you, but please don't ruin that for her."

"Okay." I said before going back to my room. I had no intentions of ruining her happiness, in fact I only wanted to make her happy. It's all I ever wanted.

Brett dragged me out for a run as soon as he was awake. It was nice to run the same route we had frequented in high school. Honestly it was like old times.

By the time we approached the house we slowed to walk.

"So what do they like? The kids?"

"Well Emelia is all about being a princess. Not the damsel in distress kind, more do what I say kind. Connor is all boy. He's in a big dinosaur and dragon stage right now, but he loves doing boy stuff. Me and your dad try to get him away from the girls when we can."

"What about Kyle? I mean do they see him as their dad figure?" I instantly regretted asking as soon as the words left my mouth.

"No, not even close." He reassured me as we approached the driveway "The kids don't know they are together. He doesn't stay over there and he hasn't since they were little when he was helping her adjust to having twins. He slept on the couch before you ask. She has never told them anything other than you were away."

"She's not going to talk to me is she?" I was talking to myself as I realized just how little credit I had given her the day at the hospital and after when she wanted to explain.

"Listen dude, I have to go over there to get Ava later, I'll talk to her. I think you both need to talk it out, but you wrecked her twice. She's not going to forget that, and I don't think she has any fight left in her."

"That's all I want. To talk."

"I'll see what I can do." He said before we walked in the house.

We spent the rest of the morning in the attic playing pool and watching action movies and sports. It was a good distraction until he got Avas call asking him to come help her with the twins.

I wanted to go, but when he told me that it wasn't a good idea, and that I should talk to Britt first I backed down. I knew he was right and I needed to do things her way, no matter how much I wanted to do the opposite.

"I promise I'll talk to her." He said before he left.

Then I was back to myself and my thoughts. A place that had been so dark and still had the power to drag me back down. Thankfully I had a lot of catching up to do with my family, and the distraction of my siblings was more than enough to keep my mind off Britt for a while.

I just hoped that Brett would keep his word.