Second time lucky

32

My lips were still tingling from that kiss. That earth shattering kiss that wasn't full of goodbye, or of the need to forget pain. Nope, that kiss was full of something else. I didn't quite know how to explain it but I felt the promise from within it.

It was an unspoken promise. One that said he was here, ready to support me however he could. A kiss that implied he was no where near done with me or my heart, the very thought alone sending shivers through me like a bucket of ice water being poured on my head.

While it was comforting in so many ways, I couldn't act on any of my feelings even though I wanted too. It was for the best this way. I still didn't know if I was completely over Kyle and as much as I kept telling myself I was, that we both needed this separation, something still felt wrong about it all.

Every time I thought I was healing, the hurt in my heart reappeared as if it were torn in two. Half of it longing for Riley and the family we have together, the other half longing for the routine and happiness Kyle brought to our lives.

Riley's mom was picking the kids up from school today so I could try to find a hobby or an outlet to discover myself. Of course I could have asked Riley, but the kids had been so busy between Riley and me that they hadn't spent as much time with their grandparents like they used to.

A couple hours after Riley had left I was ready to embark on my endeavors. I didn't even know where to begin. Of course I liked a lot of things and yet when I needed to decide to commit to one I couldn't.

Instead I drove into the small city, parking on Main Street and walking up and down while browsing through the different stores. It felt weird to be completely on my own and yet somehow I was content in the crowds of strangers.

I didn't feel scared like I thought I would, I wasn't looking over my shoulder, or panicking that someone was following me. It was almost as if the change of scenery was just what I needed to escape the paranoia that had followed me like a curse since the ordeal with Carl. Almost like I could finally breathe again.

It was still light out even though it was after six, one of the perks of living in the south I guess. I knew I should call Averleigh and check in on the kids but for once I just wanted the day to be about me.

I opted to send her a text instead, asking if she would keep them overnight. Of course she was happy to do it and I knew Riley wouldn't mind taking them to school, besides he needed the practice anyway.

Once everything was situated I made my way into a small bar on the corner of Main Street. It wasn't a super crowded place, but the ambience was comfortable and inviting as I took a seat at the corner of the bar.

I admired the decorative paintings on the walls, the bright lighting where a small pool table and Juke box was situated in the far corner of the room. Then I glanced around at the other patrons, all of which seemed to be a good bit older than myself, and mostly men.

Of course I got some side glances, but nothing unusual considering I was probably the youngest person here. I don't actually know why I walked in here, I wasn't a big drinker since having the twins. Still the complexity of my love life was taking an invisible toll on my mental health and I just wanted something to take the edge off before I crawled back to my empty house and slept alone once again.

"What will it be?" A middle aged man asked from behind the bar. Despite his gruff tone, he had a pleasant and calming demeanor about him that was surprisingly relaxing.

"Just a rum and coke please." I smiled as he set about pouring my drink before setting it on the counter.

I reached for my wallet to which he shook his head and smiled.