Second time lucky

47

Every blissful memory, each overwhelming feeling, all the savored and cherished touches, were now tainted by the sight of her mouth on his.

It hurt.

It hurt more than him leaving without saying goodbye, more than my breakup with Kyle. It hurt so bad I thought my chest may actually explode.

Maybe I was overreacting? I mean i knew that she was trying to get a reaction from me and I wasn't going to give it to her, at least not in the way she wanted.

It seemed to take Riley longer than I had expected to push her away from him.

"Courtney, what the fuck?" He asked still oblivious to my presence behind him.

"I'm sorry." She feigned innocence pouting her lips. "I just, I like you Riley."

"Courts i..." he paused as she watched me standing behind him.

"Mama? Why is daddy kissing that other girl?" Connor asked a little louder than necessary.

I was curious to what he was going to respond to her, of course, but that hope was lost when Riley turned around, a look I couldn't distinguish was on his face.

"Averleigh?" I called looking down at my feet. "Can you take me and the kids home please?"

"Yeah, is everything ok-" she asked as she walked out of the living room to where we stood.

"I don't have my keys, Riley needs stay and ..."

"Britt I can take you?" His voice broke slightly but I couldn't bring myself to look up at him.

"It's okay." I spoke softly, mindful of the small ears beside me. "I gotta tell your mom about our date, and you have some things to figure out."

I don't know if she sensed the hesitance In my voice as I spoke, or if it was the broken look on Riley's face, but Averleigh grabbed her keys and quickly ushered the kids out of the house as I trailed behind.

"Britt wait!" Riley grabbed my wrist.

"We can talk later Riles, figure it all out." I said a little more stern than I intended, still unwilling to look at his eyes. I knew that if I even saw a trace of guilt in them, the strong front I was portraying would shatter.

I pulled my hand away from him and ran to Averleighs car. Once I was inside I closed the door as she shot me a confused look before driving to my house.

One thing I always admired about her was that she never pried. She was one of those people who, despite her job, waited for you to approach her. It didn't matter what it was, unless it was dangerous or a wake up call she never put her nose in other peoples business. 

She stuck around to help me feed the kids and set them up with some coloring books at the table before we sat on the couch. I wanted, no needed, to vent it out.

"She kissed him." I sighed. "We had such a good night, he made it so special for me and now I don't even know how to feel. It just hurts." A tear slipped from my eye as I wiped it away.

"Oh sweetie." She pulled me into a hug as I tried not to break down. "You're allowed to be hurt, but ask yourself if you think he was really okay with it himself."

"He didn't push her away."

"Do you think that this is what he wanted or what she wanted?" She asked after a brief pause.

"Does it matter? He promised me, he swore that he wouldn't hurt me again." I mumbled.

I was on the verge of another breakdown. I hated how much this whole thing hurt. Of course it was Courtney's fault, but he didn't push her away, not until her lips had already tainted his.

"Of course it matters." She sighed. "I knew that girl would be a problem, but she's gone today. I made that clear to Spencer last night. I guess the real question is whether you want to talk to him and work it all out, or let fear keep you from what you really want?"

"I don't know." I ran my hand through my hair. "I think I just need time to think about it. Can you ask him to give me some space?"

"You know that's not my place." She smiled sympathetically. "But I can tell him to let you cool off."

"Thank you." I forced a smile.

"Now go have fun with the kids, I'm going to head out and make sure she leaves."

She got up and gave the kids a kiss before she left. Thankfully I was able to distract myself with the kids and their colorful pictures just long enough for my mind to clear.

I decided to text Ava. Unlike Averleigh she wasn't afraid to give me her brutal opinion.

"That bitch kissed Riley when we got back from our date!"

"Are you serious? What did he say ? And do I need to come beat her?"

"No Averleigh is making sure she leaves. He said Nothing, I left after. I don't know what to do?"

"Explain???"

"Our date was just so perfect and it was almost like she did it on purpose. She smiled at me before she kissed him."

"I say this as your bestie, but if that's true then she is trying to get between you. Don't give her the satisfaction."

"It still hurts though."

"I know, you need to put the kids to bed, drink a little, cry it out, and then talk to him. Do not give her the satisfaction of putting that space between you when it took so long to get to where you are."

"Thanks Ava."

"Love you Britt."

"Love you too."

I made some macaroni for the kids and sat down to eat with them as they excitedly explained how much fun they had with Riley's family.

"Anna let us sleep in her room!" Emelia smiled.

"Yeah it was fun!" Connor agreed.

"I'm glad you had fun." I smiled at them.

"That other girl was mean though!" Emelia said with a lot of exaggerated hand movements.

"Yeah, she told my sister that she was being a bratty baby because she was crying."

"She really did and then nana walked out with papa."

I distracted them with the promise of another pool day if they ate dinner and went to bed. Of course they were happy to oblige. As soon as they were done eating they ran upstairs to change and get into bed as I mulled over the information they had given me.

After they kids were asleep I sat on my bed and let the problems of the day wash over me. I was slightly relieved Riley hadn't called, but a small part of me was upset further by the fact that he hadn't reached out at all.

I kept replaying everything over and over again in my mind as my eyes closed. Courtney had made it clear she didn't approve of me or the children and the only thing that made sense was to talk it through with Riley.

I knew whatever came of the talk I had in my head, the result would be the making or breaking of us. Of course the children would always come first and I wouldn't ever keep them from him. As for the future of us, that all depended on what was to come.