2 months

33

Jaden

I felt way better after what Lukas said to me about Cassie. I was confused, I didn't really believe him but anyway.
The night with him was great. I'm so grateful that I could count him as one of my closest friends. He's just awesome, and without Cassie I probably would've never been friends with him. Thinking about that made my skin crawl. The last five weeks were a roller coaster but a lot of great things happened because of it. The best weeks of my life.

I thought about that the whole ride home. I dropped of Lukas and drove home, but decided to drive around the block one more time, it was just such an amazing vibe.

But I was still confused why Cassie told Lukas about what happened between us. I thought it was a personal thing. I thought it didn't mean anything to her. She explicitly told me to stop and to not tell anyone, to just forget about it. Why would she tell him then? I thought I knew her well enough. But apparently not. She wasn't who I thought she was. Sometimes I thought about how I actually don't know who she is. She might have told me a lot about her but mostly whats on the surface. Her favorite color, her biggest dream, her favorite food. That's stuff you tell everyone. I still don't know why butterflies are her favorite animal and why she thinks cheesecake is overrated. I know the dumbest stuff about her but not the stuff I wanna know, the stuff she's fascinated by.

But she told me her biggest secret. After all, I was the only person she told what happened that night. That meant a lot to me. Not a stupid kiss. It meant a lot to me that she trusted me enough to tell me her biggest secret. I felt important again. But to be honest, I had the urge to beat up Cole for it. But I promise her to not do it. And unlike her I keep my promises.

Its weird to not listen to music in the car but its also weird to listen to music in the car without Cassie. Its almost depressing because it feels like there's something missing. I mean, it technically is, but still. Weird feeling. Unsettling.

After like 10 minutes of useless waste of gas I turned around and drove home. I was tired, so I was pretty excited to go to bed.

My parents were asleep, on the couch. They were watching a movie or something. Their wine glasses were still half full. Or half empty, thats how you view it.

I fell asleep like right away. Which was nice, that meant no overthinking.

Sundays are always boring. Even if you have every option to do something, you're not motivated enough to do so. So you sleep long and stay in bed for almost the whole day. But nobody holds you accountable, I mean it's Sunday. Everybody is lazy on Sunday. Maybe because the next day is Monday and everybody hates Mondays. So Monday is the excuse to be lazy on Sunday.

I woke up around 10 am. I ate breakfast and then got my laptop to do some homework. Yeah, call me crazy, I did my homework. The whole week without Cassie I was overall more productive than usual, I don't know if that is a bad thing for her or for me. Probably for me it wasn't her fault that I didn't do my homework. But it was interesting.

My friends were ignoring me again. That's their toxic trait, ignoring me for no reason at all. But I had to live with it. I'm not even sure if they're talking to each other then or if they don't talk at all. To just not to me. Probably not at all. But sometimes distance is a good thing, I think thats the reason why we're still friends, because we keep our distance but when we're around each other its like we were never apart.

Then it hit me again. It was Sunday. That meant my week of Cassie-detox was almost over. I felt so much better after this week of pure anxiety. I was alive again. Yup. I was back to being Jaden again. Before I was only Aden or Jade. Something was missing. But it's back.

I was on my phone for a long time and then I ate something. I had no concept of time so I think it was around 1pm. I went upstairs again.

I found an old book I once wanted to read, and even started it. It was kinda dumb but I still read it. Just to have something to do. How bored do you have to be to read a book you actually don't like?

So I read the book for like two hours when I decided to take a shower. At 4pm. I usually never shower before 6pm, but I guess you have to start somewhere. Then I was back in bed. Not reading the book, I was on my phone.

Then I heard a knock on my window. I expected it to be Tyler, he sometimes does that because he thinks my parents don't like him. But they do.

I've known Tyler since kindergarten. We've been the dynamic duo since the first day. In 2nd grade we met Kiera. It took some time until she was really friends with us, she was scared to only have guy friends, the other girls thought she was weird because of that. We thought it was cool. Since then we've been strong together. They're my family. Even though they sometimes act like they hate me I know they love me. Deep down they do.

And also, my parents definitely don't hate Tyler. His parents hate me. And I don't even know why. He always tells me they do like me but I can tell by their faces. They absolutely hate me.

But anyway, I heard a knock. I stood up and looked who it was. And when I saw who it was, my heart sunk and felt heavier than ever before. My hands were shaky, and my temple sweaty.

It was Cassie.