[STATUS: On Hiatus]
Seanne Park once considered music as her life. But after her parents separated, Seanne started keeping away from the very craft that she once love more than anything else.
•••
In college, she has to go to the Albertson University...
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Dr. Sabrina Nielsen has been my psychiatrist before, and seeing her now gives me both negative and positive vibes. Negative, because I know that having her means possible undergoing treatment again; positive, because it feels like having to see an old confidante.
"How do you do, Seanne?" she greeted and sat beside me. I am at one of the clinics in the hospital. I just got discharged this morning, and I went straight to her after leaving my room.
"Not great, but I'm fine," I grinned. "I thought I won't be seeing you again like this."
She laughed, "Well, things happen. Anyway, tell me about your college life."
I told her about going with Dad now, living in the university, my unexpected part-time job as a celebrity's assistant. Then, I remembered the curious thing that happened to me yesterday.
"Doc, you know what, when I was walking around the Bay Area, I haven't noticed that music was all around me, not until someone told me." I frowned and recalled the situation.
"What emotion do you have then?" Dr. Nielsen asked, her hand clasped in front of her.
I closed my eyes, "I was... so worried." About Kookie. Yeah, I was so worried I haven't noticed all the noise around me.
"Kookie Alistair is a musician," Dr. Nielsen said, making me open my eyes and look at her. "Seanne, do you remember how we tried before, to make you go recover from that trauma?"
I nodded. I also remembered how much I cried back then.
"I think, it's best time to try again," Dr. Nielsen held my hand, "but now, I won't be the one to help you. What if... you find music again, with Kookie Alistair?"
I stared at Dr. Nielsen. What she's saying doesn't make sense, but then...
"I'll help you. I'll help you overcome that fear and hatred."
Kookie's voice echoed in my ears.
"You see, Seanne, your body associate music with pain, rejection, guilt, anger, and fear. That is why no matter how much you try controlling it, the trauma doesn't disappear. It faded somehow, but it recurred, upon getting exposed to the stimuli again. Your father."
I clutched my hands and my felt a particular painful sensation in my chest.
"This time, you need to have someone who could help you associate music with positive emotions."
With Kookie Alistair?
I sighed, and looked down my feet, "Kookie told me he'd help me... overcome my fear. He said... he'd help me find it again... music."
"Seanne," Dr. Nielsen said and I looked at her, "Accept it. Accept his help."
"But..."
"It can't bring back things like they used to, Seanne. But it can change what's in store for you. It can make your life perfectly normal again," Dr. Nielsen smiled. "So, I'll give you my number and call me if anything happens. Also, don't forget the tips I told you whenever your hyperventilating."
