The Snake of Wall Street | Theodore Nott

CHAPTER 20: IVORY

Maybe having angry sex every time we're mad at each other isn't healthy, but he isn't my boyfriend and it's not my fault it feels so good.

The problem is we're mad at each other a lot and I mean like 'have sex three times a day' a lot. But at least we cuddle after.

We celebrate whenever I get my cycle because honestly with protection we aren't that careful anymore, I even once let him finish in me so we could see how it felt. Theo wishes we never tried that because now 'It's hard not to cum inside of you' but again it was a one time thing. But birth control potions aren't that bad.

It's our dirty little secret when though i'm pretty sure everyone has figured it out already, I mean he sleeps over all the time and sometimes we have matching love bites. We're trying to be subtle, except for that time a group of fifth years used the closed restroom to smoke and walked into Theo fucking me on the sink.

There's no other word for what we do other than fuck. He fucks me in the shower, against a wall, on the floor, bathtub, from the front, side, back.

I like the way he says my name "Oh Ivory"

And he fucks me really good. Once he even made me orgasm five times. I couldn't tell when one orgasm started and the other ended.

"Are you staying here for winter break?" He asked before I fell asleep

"Yeah dad will be too busy this year" I shrugged pulling the blanket over and turning to him, he's so beautiful it hurts sometimes

"Me too" he kissed my shoulder

"We need a break I think my vaginas literally broken"

He chuckled wrapping his arms around me "A week break"

"Deal" I ran my fingers up his arms

"I actually have something I want to ask you"

My heart started pounding "Okay"

"Can you draw me some tattoos?"

Not the question I was hoping for "Sure, what do you want? I can work on the sketches right now"

He kissed the top of my head, it feels nice when he does that, it feels like a sweet gesture

"I want something edgy and modern"

"Yeah that's descriptive" I said sarcastically

"Can I ask you another question?"

Here we go again "Sure" does he not realize that i'm tired after having sex for two hours?

"How would you feel if I got a girl pregnant"

Oh god no. Please don't let that be true. Please. My heart started to hurt. But I wasn't going to let him see "We're not together so I guess i'd get you a baby shower gift"

His arm loosened around me "Just a question" he muttered

"I wouldn't care regardless"

"Of course you wouldn't" He removed his arm fully off me and sat up

"Where are you going?" I asked

"Like you care" he scoffed and started putting his clothes back on. How do you even tell someone you care about them?

"Don't get hurt over a hypothetical question"

"If it's cool with you I think we should start sleeping with other people, not just each other"

I felt my heart drop to my stomach and i've never hated myself more for not knowing how to communicate my feelings

"You can't be inside some girl then be inside of me"

"Then I guess I won't be inside of you anymore" He stood up and I hoped he could see how much I want him to stay. But he didn't because I never told him. So he left.

And he didn't come back.

Seeing him with different girls tore my heart in two. He would throw his arm over them in the corridors or flirt with them during herbology. I'd see them come down from his room. They all come down with hickeys and smiling.

I don't care. But i've never care more.

It's fine they can have him. He's not the only boy on this fucking planet. I think i'll survive. Staying in my room smoking cigarettes does feel more lonelier than ever.

So I started painting again. This time instead of the meadow I painted my bed, I kept painting my bed and didn't even notice I was drawing two bodies holding onto each other.

He had become my safe place and I let it slip through my fingers.

The truth is i've never ever heard my father say he cares about me, i've never heard anyone in my family say that to each other. So I don't even know how to tell him.

Maybe it's too late i've read enough books to know that if you push people away enough they stay away. And well now I watch him from the dinning room table. It's fine.

I try to make a list of all his bad traits to make me stop liking him. Do I even liked him? I can't even make a list about things I don't like about him.

But school is not about boys. So I have dived into studying for the N.E.W.T's I had bigger things to worry about. My life doesn't revolve around boys.

Sure it feels like a slap across the face seeing him kissing another girls. Sure.

Sure I kiss a bunch of random guys to see if anyone of them can make me feel the way he does. None of them do.

I want to ask him not to abuse his power. But he doesn't even know that he has all this power over me. He really does. He could ask me to move across the world and i'd follow.

That's the problem I don't want to spend my life following around Theodore Nott, just because he's handsome and makes me feel like there something inside of me that matters. I don't understand this feeling.

I wished I never moved to this school. I'd still be Ivory Livingston, motivated and dedicated girl who doesn't care who's feelings she hurts

But thanks to Theodore Nott I feel like someone different, some may say better. And it's true he made me into a better person, I don't know how. But he did.

And I am completely undone.