thought i'd give you fools one before i leave the house
aight, enjoy bozos
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bilie: hey y/n what's your type?
y/n: well i'd say, blonde, blue eyes, talented, dumb, sweet
billie: hey that sounds like me what a coincidence
y/n: did i mention dumb?
billie: yeah
y/n: just checking
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[in a jail cell]
y/n: should we call finneas and claudia to bail us out?
billie: i would but i feel safe in jail
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y/n: billie you okay?
billie laying face down on the floor: no i'm depressed
y/n: damn me too
y/n: no wait, hi depressed i'm dad
y/n: no wait, what's wrong
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y/n: so hows the prettiest thing in the universe doing?
billie turning to shark: yeah how are you?
y/n:
billie:
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y/n: im crying. you made me cry
billie: baby.
y/n: now's not the time for pet names
billie: no
billie: i was insulting you
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finneas: billie likes mysterious girls
y/n: alright
[later]
billie: where are you going
y/n: none of your goddamn business
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billie: you're bleeding alot, whats your type!
y/n: sweet, kind-
billie: no blood type
y/n: ohh
y/n looking at the wound then billie: red.
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billie: hey babe
y/n internally: oh look its my amazing girlfriend who i love and cherish very much, and who i should probably greet with manners and kindness to let her know how much i appreciate her
y/n: shut up.
billie: love you too
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y/n holding up a picture of billie: have you seen her?
claudia: ...not since yesterday
finneas: is my sister missing!?
y/n: oh, no she's in the kitchen baking
y/n: i just want people to see how perfect she is
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y/n drunk: see told you i could drive
billie: dumbass i drove while you sat in the passenger seat with a paper plate
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finneas: for self defense purposes i will act like a mugger and you two have to act wisely
billie: kay
y/n: sure
finneas: if you want to live give me all your money!
billie: bold of you to assume i have money
y/n: bold of you to assume i want to live
finneas: no-
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y/n: ah yess baguettes, the snakes of bread, give me some of your finest yeasty eels sir
baker: what-
billie: ignore her
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zoe: how do i get revenge on my enemies
billie: best revenge is letting go and living your life
zoe:
zoe: y/n how do i get revenge
y/n: head. brick. done.
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y/n: im going to the store you want anything?
billie: my sanity back
y/n: i don't have enough for that.... takis?
billie: fuck yeah
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y/n: not all dogs are good boys
billie: the fuck did you say-
y/n: some are good girls
billie: ... i'll let it slide this time
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billie: you know what! you're in time out! get on top of the fridge! get up there!
y/n climbing onto the fridge: THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE
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