i just ate soap.
enjoy bozos
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billie: what's more important weed
billie gesturing to herself finneas claudia and zoe: or us?
y/n: weed. *walks out the door*
finneas: damn she ain't even think about it
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billie: that's it.
y/n: what-
billie: get the fuck out!
y/n: wh-
billie: get out of the car you can walk home!
y/n: we haven't even left the drive way
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billie: tale as old as time
y/n: memes as old as vine!
billie: beauty and the-
y/n: YEET
billie: ...........
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[y/n and billie babysitting]
billie, reading the baby food label: shake well before feeding
y/n holding the baby up: okay then
billie taking the baby: THATS NOT WHAT IT MEANS
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billie: have you ever been arrested?
y/n: yes.
billie: i was gunna say 'because it should be illegal to look that cute' but now i'm just scared
y/n:
billie:
y/n:
billie:
y/n: it was for aggravated assault
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y/n: happy birthday! i'm your present!
billie:
billie: can i have the receipt?
y/n: woW-
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911: hello what's your emergency
bilie: i- i have knife hands?
911: excuse me?
billie: i looked down and my hands were knives
911: your hands are knives?
billie: yeah..
911: can you put down the knives?
billie: no they're my hands
911: alright uh where are you?
billie starting to panic: i- i don't want knife hands!
billie: i can't pet my dog! i can't high five-
911: it's okay we can work this out-
billie: what am i gunna do? be a chef, just chop chop chop my whole life! NOTHING BUT CHOPPING!?
