Crazy.

49.

I had left Megan in a rush, apologizing thousands of times and only saying something was wrong with Wes before i rushed off, leaving her at the cafe. But right now, she was the least of my worries, i knew she'd understand once i explained.

My hands shook as i unlocked the door, quickly shoving it open and rushing inside. 'Wesley?!' i shout, kicking the door shut. A whimper catches my attention and i rush up the stairs towards the bedroom, finding it empty although the bathroom light was on.

'Wesley?' i say quieter then before, slowly pushing the door open and my eyes widen at the sigh, my heart drops into my stomach as my eyes run over the blood on the floor, shattered glass laid around his body as he lent back against the bath.

'Wesley what have you done!?' i shout, rushing towards him. 'Stop, the glass!' he breaths out, his voice cracking slightly. i disregard the glass, dropping to my knees and i could feel it cut through my jeans and into my skin but i ignored the pain as i grabbed his face.

I lifted it to meet his eyes, mine wide as i scanned over his face. 'What happened, whats wrong?' i almost whisper and his eyes immediately watered, tears soon rolling down his cheeks as he gasped for air. 'I'm sorry, i'm so sorry' he cries, shaking his head.

'What, what for baby?' i whisper, sliding my hand through his hair. 'I'm so fucked up, i don't know whats wrong with me, i-i thought i could do it but i can't, i can't do this without them' he sobs and i knew who he was talking about straight away. His parents.

'no, Don't say that baby, you can do it, you can, i believe in you ok? i know we can get through this together, i'm here ok?' i ask and he shakes his head. 'No! its not ok! i'm not ok! i can put on a fucking smile all i want but inside i'm dying, i don't want to be here anymore!' he spits out through his tears and my stomach turns.

'Wesley, don't say that, please' i beg, my own eyes watering as i look at him, 'Don't you dare say that to me! not now!' i growl out, tears dripping down my cheeks. 'You shouldn't be with me' he whispers, shaking his head in my grip.

'You deserve better, i can't be the father that baby deserves' he adds. I narrow my eyes on him, grabbing his chin harshly as i force him to look at me. 'You're not going to do this, Wesley. You're not going to take the fucking easy way out!' i yell harshly.

'I am! I am because i don't want to try anymore! i don't want to give a fucking shit anymore!' he yells back and i swallow. 'Stop it!' i beg but he shakes his head. 'NO! you don't understand Ella, i don't feel, i just feel empty. i don't want to care anymore! because you loose the people you care about.' he states.

I quickly shake my head, 'You're not going to loose me Wesley, and you're not going to loose your child.' i state back and he shrugs. 'How do you know' he says, no emotion in his voice. 'Stop this! Wesley you're better then this, i know you are. Wheres that beautiful man i married? i want to see him!' i exclaim.

He chuckles darkly, 'his gone, sweetheart. He died with his parents.' he says, Anger curses through my blood and before i can stop myself my hand connects with his cheek before i stand up over his legs, bending down slightly.

'Stop it! you're not doing this to me. Snap out of it! because i need you!' i say, tears beginning to slide down my cheeks once again. 'I need you more then ever now! i'm pregnant with your baby Wesley and i can't fucking do it alone! i wont!' i sob, shaking my head harshly.

'You're going to be the man i married and i'm going to help you get through this. Your parents died yes, and baby i'm sorry, ok. I'm so sorry it happened to you, but we're about to become parents ourselves, and i can't do it without you!' i cry.

My feet give way and i fall back to the glass covered floor, basically straddling Wesley's thighs as my head fell to his chest. 'I need you to Wesley, its not just you hurting' i whimper softly. He stays silent, not moving apart from the harsh rise and fall of his chest.