Jerry's Cousin // Jack Brewer X OC

•78•

||BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE||

|CAMI

"I'm proud of us. Raising money for the Seaford Club for Boys shows that we have maturity," Milton spoke as he, Jack, and a Jerry sat at the smoothie table.

"And shows you feel the need to be important," I added, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl behind the counter.

"No, it shows that we're classy," Jack corrected before grabbing a jar that read 'Fart Jar'. "How much we got in the 'fart jar'?"

"Ooh. We made a lot of money when we made people put money in the jar every time they ripped one," Milton nodded.

"Totally classy," I sarcastically agreed.

"Wait what? I've been paying a dollar to fart in the jar," Jerry ignored me as Jack opened the jar.

"Ah! My eyes are burning!" Jack exclaimed as he was literally blown away by the disgusting gas. Me and Jerry were away from the blow, so we weren't touched by this toxin.

"Guys, I've got big news," Rudy announced as he walked into the dojo.

"Your mother started dressing you again?" Jerry guessed making me point at him in agreement.

"Yes," Rudy confirmed making me roll my eyes. "And I'm buyin' a boat!"

"Boom! Picture us out on the boat going over the waves, up and down, up and down, up and down," Phil trailed off before vomiting in a nearby bucket. "Why did you take me out on such a windy day?"

"All I need is another thousand bucks and it's mine," Rudy said.

"Guys, I just counted it, we have one thousand one hundred dollars!" Milton shared.

"Oh thank you," Rudy took the money before walking away with Phil.

"Rudy! That money is for the Seaford Club for Boys! Not for the Seaford Club for Lonely Middle Aged Men," I deadpanned.

"What is this Seaford Club for Boys?" Phil asked.

"It's an after school hangout for troubled kids," Milton answered.

"Yeah, we're buying them all new furniture for the wreck room. They don't have any," Jerry explained.

"You guys need a thousand dollars for furniture?" Rudy asked.

"For a hundred dollars I can get you some beautiful stuff," Phil assured. "My cousin owns the largest Hachmachastan furniture store in all of California."

"Wait your cousin is Furniture Frank? Oh I love his commercials. That guy's crazy," Jerry realized.

"He's always playing Frank's commercials over and over and over again. Good thing my parents let me move out," I smiled. "Ugh. He'd shout crazy things before eating his beard."

"Eating his beard like that helps him sell furniture?" Jack asked.

"Oh no, he's actually crazy," Phil corrected.

"Well, this is perfect. The delinquents get their furniture and I get my boat," Rudy planned out before walking out of the dojo with Phil. Jack sat on the counter of the smoothie bar, letting me sit in the stool between his legs as Joan walked up to us whistling. Joan dropped an a hundred dollar bill into the 'Fart Jar' before walking away.