Jerry's Cousin // Jack Brewer X OC

•38•

||SOLE BROTHERS||

|CAMI

"Ugh! I hate Mondays," Eddie groaned as he and Milton entered the dojo. Me and Jack were studying and making side chat at the moment. "Rudy always comes in depressed about how lonely his weekend was."

"I know. We either get stony silence or muffled sobbing," Milton nodded. "And I can smell it in the air, there's a sobbin' comin'."

"Don't worry about it guys. Me and Jack are on top of it," I assured. "To keep him happy we bought him this giant cookie." I lifted up a saran wrapped cookie bigger than me and Jack's head combined with a red bow on it.

"This weekend he told me he was gonna sit at home and watch his cat lick himself," Milton grimaced as me and Jack stood up.

"We're gonna need a bigger cookie," Jack told me.

"Yep," I sighed.

"I had the greatest weekend of my life!" Rudy exclaimed the second he entered the dojo.

"I guess Tip-Tip licking himself is a lot more exciting than we thought," I shrugged.

"Not that. That was disgusting. I went on a date with Bethany Applebaum and it was amazing," Rudy sang.

"Wait, our health teacher went on a date with you?" I asked, shocked.

"Yes she did," he confirmed.

"Why?" we all asked.

"Because she has the vision to see what 1 thousand 4 hundred 13 women didn't," Rudy answered. "That I am datable." He walked into his office, happily.

"Jack! I was down at Doctor Kick's shoe store getting these new swag AB high tops. You're not gonna believe it. They're hiring," Jerry said once he sprinted into the dojo.

"Yes!" Jack cheered. "Dude we gotta get jobs there."

"Yo, absolutely," Jerry bro hugged Jack. "You get an employee discount and free odor busters for your feet."

"That's perfect," I clapped. "You both need the odor busters."

"Wait, why are they called ABs?" Eddie asked.

"AB stands for air bags. The give you maximum bounce on the basketball court," Jerry replied. "Check it." He started to blow up his shoes. "Yeah it says not to go past 5 pumps, but I'm goin' up to 20."

"Uh you really think that's such a good idea?" I asked.

"I think I know what I'm doing Cami," Jerry told me before popping his shoes and shooting up into the ceiling. "That's what I'm talking about! Maximum bounce baby! Wo-" he was cut off by his own coughs. Rudy's not gonna be happy with the new hole in the ceiling. Maybe Rudy's gonna need the cookie after all.

•••

"And so the lonely peanut passed through the large intestine, out the rectum, and into your toilet bowl. And that, my friends, is the scoop on poop," Milton finished as I grimaced through the whole thing.