The Everlark Family: Book 1

24 - A Mutt

Years had passed. Willow was now seven and Rye four.
Much of Rye mirrored myself: gray eyes, his personality; bossy, sassy--just attitude in general. But he was very handsome, of course taking over Peeta's genes; blonde, wavy hair that framed his little face. 
Willow loved him beyond belief. She would teach him sentences, sit him on her lap and sing to him, even at times, she would take him out to the meadow. The meadow was a great place for them. Rye was very adventurous by nature, so the meadow only honed that inner desire of adventure. 

It was beautiful to see us as a family--something I never thought I'd have. Though the nightmares and flashbacks would haunt us every night, Peeta and I always found ourselves coming up with a plausible excuse for our children. We would hug each other in bed until the shaking subsided. But that was just what we had to do. It was our only option. Our kids were our priorities, and we had to put on a mask to cover our difficulties, even if it meant lying. 
That night, I preoccupied myself with combing out Willow's silky brown hair, and getting Rye dressed into his pajamas. After that, I walked out to find Peeta who was supposed to be washing the dishes, but he wasn't there. Something felt off deep inside, but I ignored that thought as I began to scrub the plates.

Suddenly out of nowhere, a loud boom rang from our bedroom. That's Peeta.
I quickly turned off the facet and ran. I passed by Willow's bedroom door. Both Rye and Willow were in there, standing almost frozenly.
"What was that?" Willow asked curiously.
"Just stay in your room." I instructed them sternly, swiftly closing the door.
Cautiously, I walked to our bedroom door. I opened it, wide eyes focusing straight onto Peeta who was bent over the drawer, hyperventilating.
"Peeta." I called, my voice was calm but fearful.
He turned to look at me before collapsing onto the bed.

My eyed focused onto a wide dent in the wall. If Peeta had hit it any harder, it would have broken through. I looked back at Peeta. There was a guilty glint in his eyes. I had been all too familiar with that look. It hurt me.
"Sorry. I just had a flashback." Peeta replied when he could finally catch his breath. I cautiously walked closer to him.
"It was just about my family." He swallowed. Tears burning in his eyes.
"C-can I help?" I asked timidly, sitting down on the bed beside him.
"I don't think so." Peeta sat up taller and rubbed his eyes. "I just never said goodbye before they died."
"I know how you feel, Peeta."

Peeta glanced into my eyes. Those blue eyes quickly grew darker. His voice got deeper in a tormented tone. "Its not like it would've mattered anyway. Besides, they wouldn't have noticed me. After all, I'm just a mutt now."
He rapidly stood up and began to pace. I followed after Peeta. "No, Peeta, don't say that. You're not a mutt."
Peeta's head harshly whipped around to face me. "Look at me, Katniss." 
His eyes were almost black now. Even though I knew how violent he could become, I reached for his arm. "No Peeta, this is all part of your flashback--"
"Katniss," he brushed me away, "I might have survived, but half of me is gone!"
"This is part of--"

Peeta stomped towards the drawer, taking it in his hands and throwing it, knocking everything off of it in a fit of anger. I ran for the picture of my family that had crashed onto the ground. Holding the broken glass in my hand, I couldn't help but feel my own fit of anger coming on.
My tolerance was only so short. "Dammit, Peeta. Just stop!" 
Peeta slapped his palms against his thighs. "See, all I am is a reckless, ranting, mutt!" 
I closed my eyes tightly. If only I had the patience for this. "No, you're not!"
Peeta ran a quivering hand through his hair in anguish. "Just leave me alone for a second. . . Alright?"
From my close proximity to him, I could see normality returning to his teary eyes. I nodded, though I badly just wanted to reach out and hug him. God. I was so stupid for yelling at him. Once again, I could have helped, but I only made matters worse.

I made my way to Willow's room, slowly opening the door. I could only put on that same mask of everything being alright when it really wasn't. I had no other choice. 
Willow stared at me, expecting answers. I couldn't blame her. Rye ran up to me, pulling at my sleeves. "What's wrong?"
I showed a small--fake--smile. "Daddy's just a little tired. He'll be alright once he gets some sleep. . . Okay?"
I softly ran my hands through Ryes wavy hair. He nodded. "Alright, but when am I going to bed?" "Uh--right now, Honey." I replied. 
"Can daddy come and say goodnight too?" Willow questioned.
I swallowed nervously. "Not right now, he's a little tired, Willow." 
She hesitated. "But I can help him."
"No, Will--"
If there was one thing about Willow, it was that she had a determined mind. She took off walking towards the bedroom. My eyes widened in alarm as she began to open the door.
"Daddy?"

"Willow, he needs some time." I ran after her, sweeping her into my arms.
Peeta sat slumped on the bed, startled by the sudden appearance of us.  "What?" He asked a little harshly. 
"Can you come say goodnight to me like most nights?"
"Sorry, this isn't one of those nights."
"Are you okay?" Willow persisted.
Peeta gave the absolute slightest smile and then walked to the bathroom. "Sure, I'm fine."
She sighed, looking up at me with those big eyes.
"Come on, let's go to bed." It was all I could say.  

Peeta was already under the covers by the time I got back into the bedroom. I slipped under the sheets, turning to face him. "Want to talk about it?"
"I rather not." Peeta replied in a somber voice. He cleared his throat and stared at the ceiling. "Well, to change the subject, guess what I just remembered?"
"What?"
"It's our anniversary tomorrow."
Oh, gosh. I seriously almost forgot about that. "Yeah, that's right."
I heard a faint chuckle from Peeta. "You forgot, huh?"
I nodded. "Pretty pathetic, I know."
"You're not pathetic, you're just you."
I laughed. "That's a compliment."
Peeta turned to catch my eye. "It is. . . Hey, what if we have dinner at that newly built restaurant?"
I nodded, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. "Okay, sound's great."